Your house turns into a used nappy cesspit. Your car has baby wipes in every door pocket. Your clothes are covered in sick. Your old study is now filled with baby furniture and beer bottles have been replaced with expressed milk bottles. It’s no secret that life changes dramatically when you have a baby.
Here’s a list of my top #10 things you can’t do now you have a baby:
#1 You can’t just leave the house. Now, you’ll need to make sure you’ve got nappies, wipes, blankets, baby grows, muslins, car seat, adapters, pushchair, snoozeshade, hat, mittens, socks,
#2 Eat you dinner in 1 sitting. For some reason, approximately half way through, the baby needs attention. Every time!
#3 Pop into town. In fact you can’t pop anywhere. You have to work out where the lifts are etc etc
#4 You can’t watch Match of the Day in its entirety. Either you’re too tired for the evening showing or you have a baby to distract for the morning one.
#5 Just have a bath. Long gone are the days of grabbing a trashy magazine and soaking for a long while.
#6 You can’t wear colours – just white! Otherwise, your clothes will be stained with white sick and/or yellow poo.
#7 Use an escalator. I have tried. It worked, but was pretty risky. I don’t recommend it!
#8 Keep to time. Allow a generous time window. “Yeah sure, we’ll meet you there at some point between 7am and 7pm?”
#9 Be spontaneous. Spon…what? I can’t even remember what that word means!
#10 Do a clothes wash twice a week – it’s now twice a day! Stock up on washing powder when it’s on offer.
What can’t you do now you have a baby? I’d love to read them, leave your comments below.