The wife is now 5 days overdue. That’s right 5! 5 whole days. 5 days of frustration, disappointment, annoyance, irritation, discomfort, anger and anything else of that nature. And that’s just me!
We’ve sat through NCT classes, NHS classes, midwife appointments and surfed the world wide web clueing ourselves up on how to bring on labour. How to get it going. How to start labour going. How to rev up the engine to put it in dad terms. And I’m telling you now – babies will come when they are ready to come regardless of any of the following!
The wife has been vegetarian for 35 years and hasn’t ever touched a curry. The closest thing she’s come to a curry, in fact, is smelling my curried beer breath… until now! 3 takeaways filled with balti’s, chicken tikka and madras, not to mention the onion bahji’s and still NO BABY!
The theory is that a spicy curry stimulates the tummy, therefore the womb.
I made her walk the 1/2 mile to the curry house… and back… and still NO BABY! We’ve also walked round the block, the park, up there friggin stairs!
The theory is that being upright means gravity helps the baby push down on the cervix. This action can also help release the hormone, oxytocin, which can induce labour.
Chopping up a pineapple is never really worth effort but the thought of the possibility it might also end in a baby was enough to encourage me through. I chopped, she ate and still NO BABY!
The theory is that pineapple contains the enzyme bromelian which is thought to help soften the cervix. Whoever these people are, they should stop having ‘thoughts.’
We went to see Derren Brown live last weekend – arguably the worlds best hypnotist. He didn’t work his magic, mainly because I didn’t get the chance to ask, but anyway, still NO BABY! (I did pretty well at disproving psychics though, not that he claims to be psychic!)
The only evidential theory with this is that it does make you feel more relaxed and less anxious – if you believe in it.
Despite finding the towns best reflexologist and her grinding away at the wife’s induction points, still NO BABY!
The theory is that every part of your body is linked to a point in your feet – or something like that.
*ahem… still NO BABY!
7. Nipple Stimulation
8. Bouncing on a birthing ball
Any more ball bouncing and she’ll be threatening Michael Jordon for the all time greatest basketball player! (Maybe she’s doing it wrong?) Still NO BABY!
9. Apparently – wearing your best knickers (sod’s law says waters break in them)
How on earth would me wearing her best knickers help her start labour? I mean, I do wear them and it does help me but labour? …still NO BABY!
Sticking pins into your body in order to stimulate the energy within your body to act on a specific organ or function? I think we’ll wait…
What worked for you?