140 Medical Puns That’ll Be Sure To Tickle Your Funny Bone

Don't miss a thing

In the sometimes serious and somber world of ailments, injuries, illness & medicine, a healthy dose of humour can be just what the doctor ordered.

And for those dads who need an armoury of gags & puns to cheer up his family, this collection is bound to elicit a smile, a chuckle, or perhaps even a hearty guffaw.

From witty wordplay to clever quips, medical puns have a unique way of blending the complexities of the human body with a dash of lightheartedness. They serve as a reminder that even in the most challenging of circumstances, finding moments of levity can be both therapeutic and uplifting.

So, get ready to scrub in and prepare for a surgical strike of hilarity as we explore 147 medical puns that are sure to tickle your funny bone. Whether you’re a fan of anatomy jokes, prescription puns, or simply appreciate a well-executed play on words, there’s something here for every aficionado of medical merriment. So, sit back, relax, and let the laughter commence!

  • Doctor, doctor, I think I’m invisible. I’m sorry, I can’t see you right now.
  • You’ll find your doctor gets mad when she runs out of patients.
  • The cookie decided it needed to go to the emergency room because it was feeling crummy.
  • Build a hospital with LEGO and create a plastic surgery.
  • Why do doctors bring a red marker to work? Just in case they have to draw blood at the hospital.
  • A Sturgeon is a fish with a medical degree.
  • A medical student failed their anatomy course because he just couldn’t cut it.
  • The beekeeper went to the doctor to treat their hives.
  • The frog went to the hospital because the doctor booked him in for a hop-eration!
  • Where do horses visit when they need medical help? The horsepital.
  • How did the doctor treat the snake for its illness? He gave the serpent assp-irin!
  • You can’t lie to an x-ray technician. They’ll see right through you.

Medical organ puns

  • I went to the library to look up a medical textbook on abdominal pain. Unfortunately, a student already ripped out the appendix.
  • Two blood vessels fell madly in love with each other. Alas, it was all in vein.
  • A blood vessel is an organ’s favorite boat.
  • Why do your lungs, liver, and heart fit in your body? Because they’re efficient and well organ-ized
  • For years I was against being an organ donor. After my accident, I had a change of heart.
  • The anxious brain lost its nerve after stepping up to the bungee jump.
  • Statistically, ninety [percent of all injections are in vein.
  • What did the vein say to the blood clot? Please don’t hang around.
  • Urine trouble if you get a bladder infection.
  • We’re so alike we be-lung together!
  • If a judge convicts neurons of a crime, they go to a nerve cell.

Surgery & Anatomy puns

  • Did you hear about the guy who lost feeling in the left side of his body? He’s all right now.
  • Why would I trust surgeons who repair slipped disks? Because they have my back!
  • Two surgeons joked about on the job and had each other in stitches!
  • An electrician decided to go to medical school to specialize in surge-ery.
  • The doctor made a blunt statement when he said the surgical scalpel wasn’t sharp.
  • I just had a liver transplant operation that saved my life. The doctor really de-livered for me!
  • I asked the doctor for something for my liver. She wrote me a prescription for half a pound of onions.
  • If you’re not medically trained, you’ll find discussions between brain surgeons to be mind-numbing.
  • The nurse put an IV in my right hand before surgery. I started texting with my left hand, and she said, “Wow! How is that even possible?” I replied, “I’m ambi-textrous.”
  • The definition of your leg muscles is hereditary. They run in your jeans.
  • The nose is in the center of your face because it’s the scent-er of your senses!
  • Urine is the opposite of “you’re out.”
  • If you’re not laughing, perhaps you need to understand the anatomy of a joke.
  • Milk is the favorite beverage of the calf muscle.
  • Call a toe truck if you hurt your foot while driving.
  • Eyes make great teachers dedicated to their class because they only have a single pupil.

Medical jokes one-liners

  • I don’t find medical puns funny since I started suffering from irony deficiency.
  • I don’t get the point of acupuncture therapy.
  • A good dentist will always get to the root of the issue.
  • The banana decided to see the doctor because it wasn’t peeling well.
  • Why are paediatricians always annoyed and angry? Because they have little patients!
  • A patient arrived at the doctor with a rash. He was itching to get some help.
  • Nurse: What’s the condition of the girl who swallowed that quarter? Doctor: No change as of yet!
  • Where did the duck go when he felt ill? To the ducktor.
  • What music platform do eye doctors use? iTunes.
  • You’ll have to visit the foot doctor to get heeled!
  • What do you call a nurse that assists alligators? Gator-aid.
  • I’ve got this awful disease where I can’t stop telling jokes when I’m at the airport. My physician says it’s terminal.

Medication jokes

  • What do you call frozen aspirin? A chill pill.
  • Why don’t medicine and yogurt agree with each other? One is an antibiotic, and the other is a probiotic.
  • Be quiet inside the pharmacy, or you’ll wake the sleeping pills!
  • A pharmacist gave me the wrong prescription. It was a bitter pill to swallow.

Don't miss a thing

More from Dadsnet...

0 Comments

Submit a Comment

Enjoying Dadsnet?

Become a member for FREE!

Simply enter your email below to receive exclusive updates and content.

Success! Check your inbox as you'll receive an email from us shortly.