23 Simple Things Dads Can Do Instantly to Move from Dad to Dilf 

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Dilf

It’s not just mums whose bodies get get affected by having a baby. A recent article from The Mail (I know…sorry!) stated that new Dads put on an average of 4lbs following the birth of their child. Combine this with the consistent smell of baby poo and sick lingering around, the poo permanently encrusted under the finger nails, the bags under the eyes, the lack of time to yourself for grooming and the baby food or milk stains on every item of clothing and you find yourself going downhill at a fairly rapid rate.

The once handsome, strapping man your partner fell in love with is now no more…

Well, not in every case I’m sure, but even so, I wanted to share with you 23 simple things you can do to make sure that downhill slide isn’t as steep as it could potentially be.

  1. Find a suit that is tailored and well fitted to you. A tailored suit can be expensive but if you use a suit a lot, see it as an investment.
  2. Polish your shoes more, than ‘never!’
  3. Collar stays are a great way of looking more professional and smart.
  4. Wear dark socks when wearing dark clothes and trousers.
  5. Brown belt, brown shoes.
  6. If in doubt, wear a pale blue shirt with a dark grey suit. Fool proof!
  7. If you usually dress pretty casually, dress up every now and again. (Especially on date night!)
  8. A tough one for me, but find a good moisturiser. Hands & Face!
  9. Aftershave is your friend. But not your best friend; too much is over kill!
  10. Stand up straight.
  11. Try your clothes on before you buy them and make sure they fit!
  12. Wear dark underwear. Saves a lot of embarrassment for whoever does the washing in your house.
  13. Wash your hair. Unless it’s flaky… then stop washing your hair.
  14. Comb your hair.
  15. Style your hair.
  16. Cut all your nails. Even your toe nails.
  17. Use mouth wash – the kind that gives your morning breath a run for its money. If you’re unsure if you need this, lick your hand and smell it!
  18. Hair in any of the following locations isn’t great:
    – In-between your eyebrows
    – On your toes
    – At the top of your neck both front and back
    – In your ears
    – Poking out your nose
  19. Make sure your moustache doesn’t encroach onto your top lip. (Or bottom…!!!)
  20. Shave in the direction of the hair, not against it and use short sharp strokes. (So I’ve heard… I have a beard!)
  21. Vaseline in winter is a life saver. Don’t be scared just because it’s in your wife’s handbag.
  22. Walk more.

Follow some/all of these simple things and you’ll be swaggering round like David Beckham. On a semi serious note, looking good and feeling good really does have an impact on being a dad. If you’re feeling good about yourself, then you’ll be a much better dad.

 

DISCLAIMER: I would like to stress how frustrating I find it when people talk about dads as great big fat, bumbling idiots who were once trim and sexy and now are hideous beasts that make women sick. I’m certainly not saying that. The point of this post is to simply point out a few small things that are easy for any dad to do, to improve their appearance. I also can’t stand the term ‘DILF.’ I think it’s as derogatory to dads as it is when used for mums and wouldn’t usually use it. For me it means: Dad Is Looking Fine. :)

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39 Comments

  1. Silly Mummy

    Yes definitely wear dark socks with dark shoes & trousers! Very important! #bigfatlinky

  2. JOhn Adams

    Now my jaw hit the floor when I started reading this but when I saw the disclaimer at the end normality was restored! Language can be extraordinarily powerful and I don’t think us guys should tolerate being called DILFS any more than a women should tolerate being called a MILF. Kind of suggests you can’t be attractive having had children which is not a good message to send.

    Anyway, you missed one. No point using mouthwash unless you’ve flossed your teeth first! As for Vaseline, it has saved my latest batch of homebrew beer from going horribly wrong. Though I’ll explain how another time! Thanks for hosting #BigFatLinky

  3. ali

    love your disclaimer! My husband actually lost weight after our last baby was born as I had less time to cook or take him breakfast in bed every work morning (yes I actually did that, not because i’m a loving wife but because he’s not a morning person and it keeps his grumpy bum out of the kitchen!) #bigfatlinky

  4. Luke Strickland

    I must confess I’ve never heard the term DILF before – but notwithstanding that, this is all good advice. Not a huge fan of aftershave though! Thanks for hosting the #bigfatlinky

  5. Natalie / @diaryofuem

    You forgot the easiest way to be a DILF – strap a baby to yourself. Instant swoon. My OH has buffed up loads since we met (and had a baby) but he has a pretty manual job. I actually love seeing him in his work clothes – thick black workmens trousers, a black polo shirt and boots. All manly and dirty! Haha. I’ll stop now! #bigfatlinky

  6. Shaz Goodwin

    It’s easy to forget those simple things when you’re walking around in a daze. Wouldn’t change a thing about those days but now with children in late teens/early twenties … does it still apply? Oh yes.

    Love the disclaimer!

  7. Mummy Fever

    I’m not ashamed to say I’ve never heard the expression but great post and tips #bigfatlinky

  8. jeremy@thirstydaddy

    I don’t think I’d have a problem with a young lady calling me a DILF, but I’ve got a few years on you. My ego will take all the help it can get

  9. Michelle

    Men in suits are always attractive! Great read! Thanks for sharing! Visiting from #thebigfatlinkyoftheweek

  10. Raising Mighty Girls

    Love numbers 10 and 21! Thanks for hosting.

  11. Mrs Tubbs

    My OH has joined a gym. Looks like there’s something in the air! Thank you for hosting and have a lovely week

  12. theloveofacaptain

    Sounds like you are hinting at a part for Bond? I have to say that a man in a suit definitely works for me. Nice post xx #BigFatLinky

  13. International Elf Service

    This post is a total eye opener to me! I’ve never heard of ‘dilf’ and I didn’t know this list could exist. And women complain that men ‘don’t understand.’ I’ve enjoyed seeing things from the other side!

  14. James Hunt

    No mention of the gym word!!
    Would also have no problem being called a DILF
    Thanks for sharing
    #bigfatlinky

  15. Kyles @ Pickles and Pords

    This is a very comprehensive list! I might print it out and leave it subtly about the house to be found. I really like your “Dad is Looking Fine” at the end the best though. My husband looks even better to me post-kids. The sleepy eyes are just a reminder of the wonderful people we brought into the world together. Thanks for hosting #bigfatlinky

  16. Michelle Reeves (The Joy Chaser)

    My husband swears by #1 and I think it’s the best thing a man can do who needs to wear a suit to work. A fitted suit can take lbs off you and will last a lifetime. Also James Bond wears them #nuffsaid Thanks for linking up at #ShareTheJoy :)

  17. Hannah

    You’re right about the grey suit and blue shirt – instant winner :) #bfl

  18. Sarah

    Hahahaha! Love this post! I think I need to send it on to my other half though, just to point him in the right direction #bigfatlinky

  19. ERFmama

    This gave me such a giggle!! :D I’m going to show ERFdad this haha. I think he could do with a couple of them as a brush up. ;)

  20. Choco

    I’m really worried about to fit time in to get to the gym once we have our baby. May be easier to buy a larger suit!

    @DadFuture

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