It’s the time of year when many family homes fill up with chocolate, as relatives and friends shower your kids with Easter eggs. As a parent, of course, one of your roles is to lead by example. And that includes reinforcing the message that stealing is wrong. However, with that much chocolate hanging around, it is possible that some might…disappear. And when it does, you need an excuse for the kids’ Easter eggs failing to appear.
Dadsnet does not condone this kind of activity. But, if you choose to eat your kids’ chocolate and then try covering your tracks, here are some excuses you could use.
Excuses for Easter eggs going missing
1) There’s a shortage
This is a good one at the moment, because the news is full of shortages. There were no tomatoes or peppers in the shops a couple of weeks ago. Is it too much of a stretch to think that the same could happen to chocolate?
Tell them that no one’s bought them anything this year because they’re sold out. But remember to hide the empty wrappers. That’s the giveaway.
2) Health police
A lot of the school curriculum concentrates on making healthy choices. This is perfect when you are looking for an excuse for the ‘disappearance’ of the Easter eggs. Simply tell your kids that authorities have limited the amount of chocolate allowed in each house and it will chime with what they’ve been learning about in class.
3) Chocolate tax
Your kids might have heard a lot about tax recently. With arguments about the rates for high earners, low earners and National Insurance payers. Use this to your advantage and tell the kids that they have been hit with a massive chocolate tax bill (from HM&MRC), which they had to pay immediately.
This way, you get to take 40% of their stash and there is nothing they can do about it.
4) The Easter Bunny is on strike
A couple of years ago you could have blamed the Easter bunny being on furlough for the lack of eggs. This year, it’s all about the strikes. Everyone’s at it; teachers, train drivers, nurses and now fictional fantasy characters. Yes, tell your kid that the Easter bunny is refusing to work unless he’s guaranteed his full pension and an inflation-matching pay-rise.
At the current rate, this stalemate could last a few years, during which, you must scoff all the eggs that come into your home so they don’t find out that you lied.