50+ Sleep Dad Jokes To Scroll Through At Night Instead Of Counting Sheep

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Welcome to the land of yawns and giggles, where the realm of sleep intersects with the wit of dad jokes!

If there’s one thing that transcends time zones and blankets us all in a cozy cocoon of laughter, it’s the joy of a well-crafted pun or a groan-worthy quip, especially when it’s about that precious commodity we all cherish—sleep. Join us on a journey through the land of nod as we explore the whimsical world of sleep dad jokes, guaranteed to tickle your funny bone and maybe even coax a snicker from your sleepy self.

Do you think Jeff Bezos sleeps naked?

Or with pajamazon?

Woke up the other day with a puzzled look on my face.

Had fallen asleep on my crossword.

Why do dragons often sleep during the day?

So they can fight knights.

Why do clowns wear loud socks?

To stop their feet from falling asleep.

What dinosaur makes the most noise when he is asleep?

Tyrannosnorus.

Taller people sleep longer in bed.

I am so good at sleeping. I can do it with my eyes closed.

Why do keyboards never sleep?

Because they have two shifts.

Scientists have finally discovered exactly how much sleep a human needs.

“Just five minutes more.”

If there is a king and queen-size mattress, where does the prince sleep?

On the heir mattress.

I couldn’t figure out why I haven’t been sleeping all night.

And then it dawned on me.

What do you call making up for lost sleep?

Melatonement.

I would love to be paid to sleep.

It would be my dream job.

What does the gingerbread man sleep on?

Cookie sheets.

The urge to sing “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” is just a whim away, a whim away, a whim away, a whim away.

A sumo wrestler once came to visit and ended up sleeping on my couch for a month.

It left a negative impression.

What do you call a sleeping cow?

A bulldozer.

If you notice cows sleeping in a field, does that mean it’s pasture bedtime?

What do you call it when a kid is fighting going to sleep?

Resisting a rest.

How do you get an alien baby to sleep?

You rocket.

Just bought a sleeping bag for $30.

No idea how to wake it up though.

Where do books sleep?

Under their covers.

My little cousin was showing off that he sleeps in a race car bed.

Jokes on him, I sleep in a real car.

I like to sleep with a bedside lamp on. My boyfriend says it’s weird.

I don’t know why, it makes a great hat.

The patient said to the anesthesiologist, “Can I put myself to sleep?”

Anesthesiologist: “Knock yourself out!”

I know someone who was habitually late until his doctor recommended sleeping in a herb garden.

Sounds odd, I know, but now he wakes up on thyme.

Chuck Norris sleeps with the light on.

Not because he is afraid of the darkness, but because the darkness is afraid of him.

What did they call Susan B. Anthony when she was sleeping on the job?

Snoozin’ B. Anthony!

There was a kidnapping at school today.

It’s okay though, he woke up.

You know you’re getting older when happy hour is a nap.

Where do fish sleep?

On the river bed.

What’s it called when your feet go to sleep and won’t wake up?

Coma-toes.

Why did the meatballs tell the spaghetti to close its eyes and go to sleep?

It was pasta bedtime.

Why did mum always tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?

She didn’t want to wake up the sleeping pills.

What did the mommy broom say to the baby broom?

It’s time to go to sweep.

Why did the little girl take her bike to bed?

Because she didn’t want to walk in her sleep.

Why did the little boy hide sugar under his pillow at night?

So he would have sweet dreams.

Where do burgers sleep?

On a bed of lettuce.

Did you hear about the lady who always goes to sleep on a chandelier?

She’s a light sleeper.

When you dream in colour, is it a pigment of your imagination?

I went to a gig last night and the band’s guitarist passed out on stage.

He must have rocked himself to sleep.

I accidentally went to bed with my contact lenses last night.

My dreams have never been clearer.

I have a condition that makes me eat when I can’t sleep.

It’s called insom-nom-nom-nom-nia.

Is your iPad making you fall asleep?

There’s a nap for that.

The male pig puts everyone to sleep.

You could say he’s quite the boar.

My partner asked why I put a watch on the bed before going to sleep.

I told her I wanted to wake up on time.

What do you get when you eat cookies in bed?

Crummy sleep.

How did the sheep get to sleep?

She counted her friends.

Have you heard about those new corduroy pillowcases?

They’re really making headlines.

To bears, people in sleeping bags are soft tacos.

What does James Bond do before he goes to sleep?

He goes under cover.

 

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