A Compendium of Chuckles: 20 Top Dad Jokes to Tickle Your Funny Bone

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Fellow fathers, this one’s for you. Every dad needs a solid repertoire of dad jokes in their arsenal. They’re the bread and butter of the school run, the silver lining of a doctor’s waiting room, and the unsung hero of any family gathering. So, without further ado, here are 20 of the best dad jokes to add to your collection. Disclaimer: eye-rolling from your children is virtually guaranteed!

Why don’t scientists trust atoms?

Because they make up everything!

What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot!

What’s a ghost’s favourite room in the house?

The living room!

Why don’t eggs tell each other jokes?

They’re afraid they might crack up!

How do you organise a space party?

You planet!

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field!

What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?

Nacho cheese!

Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two-tyred!

Why do we tell actors to “break a leg”?

Because every play has a cast!

Why don’t skeletons fight each other?

They don’t have the guts!

Why did the tomato turn red?

Because it saw the salad dressing!

What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta!

Why did the golfer bring two pairs of trousers?

In case he got a hole in one!

What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?

An abdominal snowman!

Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek?

Because he was always spotted!

How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb a tree and act like a nut!

What’s brown and sticky?

A stick!

Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay?

Because then they’d be bagels!

What do you call a man with a rubber toe?


What do you call a fish with no eyes?



Dad jokes, they’re corny, they’re predictable, and they’re absolutely brilliant! Whether you’re an experienced jokester or a new dad just dipping your toe into the world of dad jokes, these classic zingers will have your family groaning and laughing in equal measure. So go on, give them a go – and remember, the worse the joke, the better the dad joke it is! Happy joking, gents!


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