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Cage fighter who was sterilised at 28 as she never wanted children becomes a fertility magazine sex guru advising couples trying to conceive

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Published on 26/07/2021

A cage fighter who was sterilised at 28 as she has never wanted children has become a sex guru for couples who are trying to conceive.

Londoner Faith Roswell, 34, believes her bohemian way of life – residing on a
canal boat and travelling the world for years as a model, influencer, and female empowerment speaker – makes her the perfect agony aunt for people having fertility problems.

Currently single, Faith, who recently landed a role as sex and relationship expert for an online magazine dealing with fertility issues, said: “I get it that, at first, people might think it’s a little strange for me to be an agony aunt on this subject, but I would encourage them to read my advice before dismissing me.”

 

She added: “I offer a different perspective and I have a lot of life experience that I can offer.”

Just 18 when she first approached her doctor saying she wanted to be sterilised, it was not until she was 28 that Faith finally had her wish granted by the NHS.

She said: “I never wanted children. Even as a kid, I hated the idea of having a baby.”

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Faith is now working as an agony aunt for a fertility magazine (Collect/PA Real Life).

She added: “I never had a maternal desire. Every time I saw people have children, I just knew it wasn’t for me.

“I think it should be a conscious decision and choice to have a child. If it’s not an enthusiastic ‘yes’ then it has to be a no.

“We would play palm reading games when I was younger and when it came to the lines predicting how many children you’d have, I always hoped mine would be none.”

She added: “It never changed and the older I became, the surer I was that it just wasn’t the path for me.

“So, at 18 years old, I started asking about being sterilised. I was refused, as doctors said I’d change my mind, so I insisted my request was added to my notes and asked every six months from then on.

“It took some time to be approved but, the NHS finally approved the operation in June 2016, when I was 28 and I had my tubes tied.”

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Faith pictured here in Iceland (Collect/PA Real Life).

She added: “It’s the best decision I’ve ever made. I’m so happy.”

While Faith believes that her romantic history, which includes some long-term relationships, makes her eminently qualified to give ‘agony aunt-style’ sex tips, she also feels that her interesting background will make women who cannot conceive realise that they can still have a wonderful life without children.

With her modelling work leading her into performance, through which she then trained as a cage fighter, Faith said: “I have an amazing life.”

She added: “I’ve travelled all over the world as a model and speaker. I live on a canal boat and just before Covid I was making a documentary about abandoned buildings.

“I got to travel to some amazing places. The most incredible place I’ve ever been is Iceland. I also travelled across California alone on public transport to visit the Salvation Mountains. It was amazing and I made some fantastic friends.

“I didn’t have anything holding me back. Alongside modelling, I am a performer, a cage fighter and a writer and, being self-employed, I choose my hours.”

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Faith requested to be sterilised from 18 years old (Collect/PA Real Life).

She added: “I’m currently single. I’d like to meet someone, but it’s not a life goal. I think I have other things in life to focus on and I’m not big into the online dating scene.

“My life is busy, but it’s so fulfilling. I think I show women that if their dreams of having children don’t come true it’s not the end for them as a woman. There is another side to child free life.”

When online magazine Best Fertility Now offered her a position as their sex and relationship expert in March, Faith was thrilled.

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Faith encourages couples trying to conceive to get out the bedroom (Collect/PA Real Life).

She said:  “I was surprised at first, if I’m honest. But I think it’s great.

“People always make out that there’s some great divide between child free women and women who have children. I don’t think there is in real life.

“I think it’s great that I’m helping couples. But my advice isn’t just for couples trying to conceive, it’s for anyone struggling with these issues. I think the magazine wants to branch out and help as many women as possible.”

She added: “I think I show women that children aren’t everything. There are other options, and if your path, unfortunately, is not having children, then it doesn’t mean your life is over.

“I hope I show them that no matter what happens, it’s going to be ok.”

Despite never wanting children, Faith believes she still has empathy for couples who fear the families they desperately want may be out of reach.

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Faith wants to encourage readers to communicate better with their partners (Collect/PA Real Life).

“I don’t give any medical advice,” she said. “I just focus on sex and relationships.

“I’m there to help them emotionally through the process. I really empathise with the stress it causes for the couples I work with and I’m there to help them with forming healthy communication.

“I know from friends that have been trying for a baby for an extensive period of time that it can be really hard, even monotonous.”

She added: “I think I can help couples to spice things up and offer a perspective on their relationship outside making a baby.

“As an agony aunt, you don’t have to experience everything you write about to give good advice.

“What I offer is a different perspective outside the baby focused world.”

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Faith wants to close the divide between child free women and women with families (Collect/PA Real Life).

And Faith believes she is eminently qualified to advise people on keeping their love lives adventurous.

“My first advice to couples who are getting a bit bored in the sex department and for whom trying to conceive is getting too much is to make love like teenagers.

“Go to McDonalds, grab a burger and then drive to a field and try something different.”

 

She added: “Get in a car, drive to the middle of nowhere. Do it somewhere different, somewhere exciting. Change it up from being in the bedroom at a certain time on a certain day.

“Even book a mini break. Just get out of the house, I think you need to take a break from the routine. If you’re always doing it in the same place in the same position, you’re going to get bored.”

Faith also reminds readers not to be too demanding when it comes to trying for a baby.

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Faith, now 34, was sterilised in 2016 (Collect/PA Real Life).

She said: “Don’t insist on trying if the other person isn’t in the mood.

“Even if you’re trying to conceive, sex should still be about both being on the same page and having fun.”

And while she is happy to be child-free, she would never try and force her own choices on others.

She said: “I’m not trying to convince people to make the same choice as me.

“Sometimes people think child free women have an agenda, but I just want to help.

“I’ve had break-ups, long-term relationships and I’ve been single and having fun.”

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Faith, who chose to be sterilised at 28 years old, now gives sex and relationship advice (Collect/PA Real Life).

She added: “So, I may be child free by choice, but that doesn’t mean I can’t help couples who are trying for a baby.”

Faith’s frisky tips:

  • Think outside the box – Get out of the house and change it up. Go on a minibreak and do not always have sex in the same place. Make it interesting.
  • Date like a teenager – Get a McDonalds, go sit in a field and see where it leads you. Have a date and make it something really fun.
  • Take a break – If trying to conceive is getting too much and you are not in the mood take a break. Leave the schedule for a while and have a chat about what you want. If it is not happening and you are losing your sex drive, continuing to push yourself is not the answer.
  • You do not have to have a baby through sex – There are other ways to have a baby. Think of other options. Take the pressure off, consider the different options of having a baby such as adoption or surrogacy.

What do you think about a fertility counselor who doesn’t have children? Tell us about it down below!

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1 Comment

  1. Angela

    Whilst I can what Faith is trying to say, the fact she has a very clear and defined path that doesn’t include children makes it harder for her to understand the biological urges that people experiencing subfertility have.
    Taking time out is not necessarily an option for some couples as they struggle with POF, age, and a myriad of other issues, and can actually add to the stress they are already experiencing. These couples may already be mid to late 30’s, if not early 40’s and have many commitments that make acting like a teenager difficult to achieve due to time or work constraints, can you imagine the headlines if a barrister was found making out in his car with his wife/partner.
    I would suggest that she considers more than just her own point of view and tries to consider the situation from both sides otherwise her advise may end up being another source of stress for couple ttc in the same way as someone telling you “just relax, get drunk and have some really good sex (because we all suck *pun intended* at it when we’re sober). Good luck with the column.

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