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Competitive Parents Take the Joy (& reality) Out of Parenting

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So if like me you’ve recently had a baby, you’ve been thrown into the world of parenting at the deep end (face first), you don’t remember the last time you had a full nights sleep without the aid of whiskey and your social life now consists of entirely baby related activities or meeting up with other people to do baby related activates…..the LAST thing you wanna be dealing with is other new competitive parents spouting off unhelpful and unrealistic bullsh*t about parenting!


I’m not pointing any fingers or saying any names (just in case they’re reading this), nor am I suggesting everyone does it, but there does genuinely seem to be a lot of new parents out there that just wanna straight up lie about how they’re coping with life since their screaming bundle of joy arrived. 

Take it from me……parenting is HARD WORK!

Exciting, amazing, loving, worthwhile and the best decision you’ll ever make…..but seriously HAAAARD WORK, especially if you’re a first timer! Struggling to juggle the daily responsibilities, worrying if your parenting skills are up to scratch, panicking if your baby’s gaining enough weight, stressed you’re not sterilising everything properly or just freaked out that your kids head is too big for their body… the list of worries is endless.

That’s why it’s so important to surround yourself with the right people and not those that are gonna make ridicules and outrageous comments like some of the classic’s I’ve heard: 

“My baby’s been sleeping through the night since they were born” 

My baby doesn’t ever really cry 


“Your baby looks fat”

“Do you ever wish your baby was more like mine?” (Someone actually said that to me!
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At a time when sharing our struggles, concerns, and first-hand problems are imperative to our survival to what benefit does anyone gain from making you feel sh*t while at the same time pretending their life is a bed of roses? Basically, they’re coping with parenthood like sipping cold margaritas in the Caribbean and their baby is the born again Jesus. BUT WHY?

Look, I know people are competitive and they want their little Jonny to be the best thing to mankind since the opposable thumb, but seriously, it’s not cool being a competitive parent when you’re a) supposed to be supporting someone or b) you’re making yourself look a total and utter tw*t! 

A few years ago when I was working at a supermarket I bet a mate of mine I could eat a whole packet of Polo’s faster than he could. There was no apparent reason for my idiotic boast other than an attempt to somehow prove myself to be superior… anyway, after a painful 8mins of forcefully ramming Polo’s in my mouth I ended up losing a fiver, covering myself in my own gob, having the inability to taste anything other than extreme mint for about 3 hours and nearly choked myself to death in the process.

Trust me… not everything in life needs to be a competition and the people that are trying to make you feel sh*t just aren’t worth your precious time, even if they are parents.

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