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Dads – Let’s Talk Bollocks | Facts Every Dad Should Know

Those facts every Dad should know about his gonads

Plums. Love spuds. Bollocks. Old boys. Nads. Knackers. Nut sack. Family jewels. Most Dads have them and give them special names – but do we really know what’s hanging out down there? Lets get things rolling by spilling some ball busting facts below:

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It takes balls to write about them

Your testicles make 200 million sperm every day.

They can also grow up to twice the size during sex

They contain the largest percentage of the body’s proteins. 77%!

The left testicle is usually larger than the right testicle.

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Not a pair of giant scrotums

The first dinosaur fossil to be named was called scrotum humanum. The gent who named it, was confident it was a giant’s scrotum. It took around 60 years for scientists to classify it as part of a megalosaurus.

It’s super important to regularly check them.

Most men’s testicles are about the same size, though it’s common for one to be slightly bigger than the other. It’s also common for one testicle to hang lower than the other.

Your testicles should feel smooth, without any lumps or bumps, and firm but not hard. You may feel a soft tube at the back of each testicle, which is called the epididymis.

If you notice any changes or anything unusual about your testicles, you should see your GP. This is important as any abnormalities can indicate testicular cancer.

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The word avocado derives from the Aztec word for testicle.



What are the signs of testicular cancer?

Surprisingly, it’s a young mans cancer, with onset most commonly occuring in males aged 20 to 34 years old, and rarely before 15 years old. The total age range of risk is from 15-49. One of the main risk factors for testicular cancer is an undescended testicle.

The early signs of testicular cancer are easy to spot. Look out for one or more of the following:

  • a hard lump on the front or side of a testicle
  • swelling or enlargement of a testicle
  • an increase in firmness of a testicle
  • pain or discomfort in a testicle or in the scrotum (the sac that holds the testicles)
  • an unusual difference between one testicle and the other
  • A heavy, aching feeling in the lower stomach, low back, or groin or testicle itself

If you find a lump or swelling, or any of the above signs, it’s important to get it checked out by your doctor.

It is rare and is thankfully highly treatable and usually curable. Treatment options may include surgery, radiation therapy, chemotherapy, or stem cell transplantation. Even in cases in which cancer has spread widely, chemotherapy offers a cure rate greater than 80%.

Having a Vasectomy

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Takes no time at all

Some Dads choose to have a vasectomy as it is more than 99% effective as a contraceptive method. During the procedure a surgeon seals the sperm-carrying tubes (vas deferens) to prevent sperm entering the fluid when ejaculation occurs.

There are several methods by which a surgeon might complete a vasectomy procedure, all of which occlude (i.e., “seal”) at least one side of each vas deferens. To help reduce anxiety and increase patient comfort, men who have an aversion to needles may consider a “no-needle” application of anaesthesia while the “no-scalpel” or “open-ended” techniques help to accelerate recovery times and increase the chance of healthy recovery.

Due to the simplicity of the surgery, a vasectomy usually takes less than thirty minutes to complete. After a short recovery at the doctor’s office (usually less than an hour) the patient is sent home to rest. Because the procedure is minimally invasive, many vasectomy patients find that they can resume their typical sexual behaviour within a week, and do so with little or no discomfort.

A vasectomy won’t cause erectile dysfunction, despite the rumours. That is, unless you have sex within 72 hours. The possible pain or bleeding could leave you limp. There’s also no change in sex drive or pleasure either!

For more detailed information on these topics, you should take the time to chat to your local GP.

About Ben Marsh-Allen


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