I thought that what with it being my first Christmas and all, that I would write my very own blogpost… after all, this blog is pretty much just about me!
And what better thing to write about than, my first Christmas. So here’s what happened…
Firstly, on Christmas Eve, the old man (he’s actually only 26 but I like to speak ‘cool’) took me into town to start his Christmas shopping for mummy. He said it was normal practice for dads to shop on Christmas Eve and he was proven right by the extra long queue of men outside the Pandora shop.
Following purchasing Mummy’s Mark Owen/Take That calendar (just what she always wanted) we obviously had to come home to wrap it. Daddy told me about the myth that dads can’t wrap presents and he went on to show my how to make them look pretty. Myth busted! I know he’s my dad, but I think he did rather well, don’t you?
Once wrapped, we went to the local pantomime. It was Peter Pan and I thought that Tiger Lilly was very pretty. As soon as I can speak (and walk, and think coherently), I’ll definitely be asking her out on a date! It was quite long so I took a nap during the interval. Daddy forgot to wake me up though so I missed the ending, but I heard that Captain Hook caught in a rather compromising position with Schmee and policeman’s truncheon!
We got home and it was nearly time for me to go to bed. Just enough time to make Santa his special tray of goodies and leave it by the chimney. Chocolates, a mince pie, carrots for Rudolph and of course a decanter of single malt, Laphroig. Santa and I certainly share good taste in whiskeys! (Daddy let me have a sip because it was my first Christmas…don’t tell mummy please…)
We read a quick Christmas story followed by my attempt at taking on the age old universal challenge of children getting to sleep on Christmas Eve.
I got tucked up into my brand new sleep suit… hession is pretty uncomfortable and itchy!
So I woke up the next morning. Well, actually I woke up at 11pm, 1am, 3am, 5am and then 6:30am… I rushed into my dads room with a HUGE stocking filled with wrapped presents from Santa. (I thought I heard my dad telling my mum that she’d bought too many things for me considering I’m only 5 months during the night, but I guess I must’ve dreamt it!) I sat down on the bed next to mummy and daddy and began to unwrap my presents! It was so exciting; all that lovely, colourful wrapping paper to play with. Oh, I did get some nice new musical instruments and some bubbles.
After I’d unwrapped the vast quantities of gifts that mummy had persuaded daddy to buy… *ahem… I mean… from Santa, we went downstairs and mummy cooked daddy bacon and eggs. Daddy was very happy! We then did the family thing and saw the ‘rellies’ followed a gorgeous Christmas dinner. Looking back, mine was quite bland though… I could see roast pots, sprouts, sausages wrapped in bacon, carrots, gravy and of course turkey… yet, mine tasted just like sweetened milk. Odd.
After lunch we opened some more presents. Mummy and daddy bought me a great new toy. It’s basically a tortoise with beads and wheels… it’s pretty cool.
Oh, and daddy bought me a special present. A pen knife… He said something about it being a sentimental, symbolic present. He got it engraved and apparently he’s going to get me one each year: like a tradition. The kind of thing that I can look back on in years to come and say, “my dad got me that on my first Christmas.’ I suppose every boy needs a pen knife, but I am only 5 months. Oh well, can’t choose your parents, hey!
Finally, after a hard day of unwrapping…
I made myself more comfortable and got out of my best clothes, sat down on the sofa and enjoyed the Christmas Eastenders special. It rounded off my first Christmas perfectly.
Panto, whiskey, knives and bacon flavoured boobie juice… My first Christmas: One to certainly remember.