Hi Ant, good to hear from you. The phrase ‘I’m buried below everything’ certainly rings true for me. I joined this forum to find an outlet for lots of pent up feelings.
I sometimes look at my wife’s relationships with envy – women seem so much better at honestly expressing how they feel to each other. I find my male relationships are either based on bravado, banter or chatting about sport.
I’m finding it really hard at the moment to not resent my wife for the way I feel: we have a sort of deal – she gets a lie in every day and I get to exercise whenever I like. I struggle to feel as if she really appreciates me. I can’t help but think about sex a lot. In the current ‘me too’ climate, it seems men are almost demonised for having any sexual feeling. I know that’s obviously wrong, but I feel good honest men who are good fathers and loyal have to pay for the crimes of a few individuals.
The other thing that is really getting to me is how much my wife spends time on social media in front of me and the kids (which is also what I’m doing right now).
Anyway – I’m hoping I can use this forum to speak honestly and anonymously to try to clear out a lot of negative thoughts and give myself some clarity.