Firstly, sorry for all your loss.
Thank you so much for being so honest, there is so much great advice in there, which has obviously come about from so much heartbreak.
I can’t agree enough with the need to share how we feel and I would add that it’s ok to feel whatever we feel. I can’t say I have had to go through half that you have, but I know when I have had my own dark times that just allowing myself to feel crap has been so important, it’s only then that we can work on what is making us feel like that. All the time we try and hide any particular emotion we can’t get to the root of the issue.
You will be ok, but it won’t be easy, but it really sounds like you have the right tools to get through this.
Thanks again for sharing and remember this is a great place for a rant as well if you need somewhere else to vent.