I feel the same Ash,
We have just had our second daughter who is now 3 months old, first one is 3, I love them to bits but it’s so hard at the moment.
I work full time and when I get home it’s been chaos through the day for my wife (it’s not helping our second child is going through a fussy phase where nothing entertains her, she’s naps for 15 mins max and then she screams mainly) so i try my best to help by trying to do as much as I can so she can have a break, I make dinner, play with our kids, clean and tidy up then when they are in bed I will sit down and have a beer and think this will be the exact same again tomorrow, work, home, chaos, clean up and bed again then rinse and repeat and I feel really useless about it all because I don’t know what else I can do to help…
My wife and I end up being stressed and snappy at each other.
What I’m trying to say is yes I definitely feel the same it is a graft each day with a lot of useless and guilty feelings for no reason