Hey man,
I’m new here to.
I’m no expert at all and definitely no shrink, i’m three kids in and i’ve made lots of mistakes! I do know that if i’m stressed or anxious about other stuff it will effect my interactions with my wife and my kids so i can only suggest that maybe the crying triggers something in you.
I’m in therapy for a whole load of other issues which has really helped, just opening up to a stranger about random sh*t that bothers me. I waas never the type of guy that would even contemplate it but it’s definitely helped. It’s good that you recognise it and that you’ve told your wife though.
I know you don’t know me but feel free to get in touch if you want to talk dude – if you’re suffering it always helps to talk.