Advice needed for Dad (Married) but unhappy

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    • #19930

      Rich
      Participant

      Good afternoon,
      Hope I have posted and come to the right place. I have been married for over 7 years but just the last month I found out my wife was having an affair for 17 months. I admit we wernt laughing as much recently but I never thought she would cheat.
      I am sad and hurting but I couldn’t come to throwing her out as we have a 4 year old boy. We have a mortgage as well so everything is difficult.
      What I need to know is if I am still sad and lonely in a few months how would this effect my son if I moved on. Would he understand after a while with his daddy not at home.
      I will try to stay and be happy again but finding it hard and no one to speak to isn’t helping.
      She is trying to make me feel bad when she is the one that cheated. And says our son wouldn’t have a dad in his life if I left .
      Anyone that can help/advice would be much appreciated

      Regards
      Rich

    • #20000

      No woman, job or significant other is worth more than being unhappy. Yes it feels like a difficult choice to have a broken family but there is always options. There will be a reason why she cheated. She may of got bored of your marriage, she may not love you anymore or you may of pushed her out. If you stay together, get help. Try couples counseling and having open honest conversations. If she truly isn’t happy with you and you are not happy then go your seperate ways. Two single happy parents is a damn sight better than one unhapoy couple parenting. With that aside, the hard part is she cheated and she needs to be the one to leave. Pay for the consequences of her actions. Get legal advice and do what you can for your kid.

      I hope this helps. Everyone deserves happiness. 👊

    • #20096

      The pertinent question for any couple thinking of breaking up, with children is:

      Is a love-less marriage better than a break up for my child(ren).

      Do you want them to think always arguing and no love shown to be normal, or do you want them to witness a break up, and then see you both happy in a future relationship?

      There is no correct answer for all.

    • #20344

      Thomas
      Participant

      I agree with both points, and I have personal experience here. Follow your heart, move on, and let the chips fall where they may. Fight for your boy, be there, but always do what is right inside your heart. That will always take you the right way.

    • #21568

      Graham Campbell
      Participant

      There are many children of divorced parents. Children are resilient. They manage divorce much better if the parents can get on well enough to parent together. For this reason, If you do decide to leave, do so on the best terms with your wife as possible. Don’t expect her to apologise to you, acknowledge that she has wronged you, or admit that she is in any way to blame for the break up. Make sure that she and your child are OK financially (as far as you are able). Concentrate your efforts on having regular contact with your child.

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