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Anxious Wait for Reassurance

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    • #162903
      Mattfromnz
      Participant

      Hi all,

      I recently found out my partner and I are expecting our first baby due January 2022.
      We found out extremely early, at 5 weeks. To say I am excited would be an absolute understatement. I’m doing all the reading and learning possible, to make sure by the time baby comes i am as prepared as i can possibly be.

      By nature, I am a very anxious person. I always assume the worst, and think “This amazing thing can’t possibly be happening to me!”

      I was so nervous for the first scan hoping everything would be fine- and it was. A huge relief. “now i dont need to worry”

      Yet here i am again, waiting on the next scan. I find myself struggling alot to be excited, because i am so worried about any issues.
      Could there have been a missed miscarraige? Could something be wrong with the baby?

      As Dad, all i can go off is my partners symptoms of course and just hope for the best. I feel after this scan, i will still be so nervous.

      So calling other dads! Did you have these feelings? What helped you?

      I would love any advice and to hear your thoughts. Thanks!

    • #163017
      Oli C-B
      Participant

      Hi Matt,

      Firstly congratulations on the news of your first child. Believe me when I say the time will whizz by between now and January.

      As for being nervous, I don’t know a single dad who wasn’t nervous before their first (or 2nd or 3rd) child was born.
      It is easy to worry about the future, especially when it comes to kids. Try to remember that the medical systems & teams put in place to support your new family are there to help you through this. The scans are great opportunities to see your unborn child, but there are things you can do to bond before they’re even born.
      I recommend talking to the bump. It will feel weird at first but that bonding will help further down the line as well as getting them used to your voice.
      Also, as time passes your partner will begin to feel the movements of the baby (from what I am told it starts out feeling like popcorn kernels popping inside her) and at roughly the 6 month marker you’ll be able to feel them too!

      I also recommend reading some of the many great books for dads out there (I personally recommend The Expectant Dad’s Handbook). They can help you deal with all your feelings as well as understand what your partner is going through. Pregnancy can be very demanding so your partner will need your support, and that can be a good place to focus your energies if you feel like “doing something” helps.

      Every child is different and every pregnancy is different so that’s all the advice I feel qualified to give.

      I hope it helps

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