[Timothy Locke]

I have a daughter who is aged 4 and starting school in September. I have a court order that states i am to collect her from school when I’m due to have her and that’s every other week on a Friday this is to minimise contact between with my ex partner and myself.

My ex partner has stated that she will be at the school to changer her and take her lunch box,she says will be the only time but i believe that this will set a presidency for the future and will discredit me if i was to apply for an enforcement order.

Her school are aware of the situation but I’m unsure what to do to make it less stressful everyone including my daughter.

can anyone who has maybe been through this or have any insight, i would love to hear what you have to say.

[Anonymous]

The best reason why newly divorced parents should not handover young children is so the child doesn’t feel conflicted.

Children love each parent unconditionally, they don’t get a choice so ensuring there is no physical handover at first means the child doesn’t feel torn between you.

Perhaps relaying this message to your ex she will understand this is for the sake of your child.

You two are adults, you can deal with your emotions that you’ve created from this situation, it is unfair to put your child in a stressful situation she didn’t create until you two can be civil with one another in front of her.

[Timothy Locke]

I totally agree with you, my ex partner is still very bitter dispute us splitting up 3 years ago. My daughter shouldn’t feel split which is why the court order is in place. This is a sad situation and i do wish we could sit down and have a civil conversation but that wouldn’t happen as all she cares about is “getting one over on me” and wants what she wants not what was agreed too and a court order being in place.

My daughter is extremely loving and is a wonderful little girl and should not not feel torn or see or hear any disputes. Because of this i have to record any hand overs with her mother to prevent her saying anything which may upset my daughter which seems to work as would only go against her if she was to carry on with such behaviour.

[DDP1268]

Hi Tim,

Is there a ‘direct message’ process on here? I have an almost comparable situation…but about 2yrs down the chain of woe.

I appreciate that comments above don’t contribute much to the general thread….sorry!!

In my experience/opinion, where there is an acrimonious breakup OP would be absolutely right to minimise chance of interactions. When the other party tries to break through this because they can’t deal without their drama, the real nightmare begins, police, non-molestation orders, cafcass.

Also let’s not kid ourselves, all parts of the system is gravely bias towards the female in almost every regard.

[Timothy Locke]

Your quite welcome to email and anyone else who would like to send a direct message at timothylocke@gmx.co.uk

Ive been to court a few times and each time Ive had to initiate the proceedings which firstly does not look good on me so i now have to be careful of why I’m doing so, in this case will be an enforcement order to do what is stated the order. Although the courts do seem to lean towards the female parent, residency was removed from here so we were on an even platform and has done 40%, that’s only an estimate.

I’m going to book an appointment with here school as they have an obligation to abide the court order too and I’m sure they wont want police officers turning up at the school for breach of the peace and also want to avoid for my daughter, if i was not to start as we mean to go she would use that against me if i did need to enforce the order that Ive already let her before which is what I’m worried about.

sorry about spelling and grammer reply in haste.

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