Empathy

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This topic contains 3 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  James 6 months ago.

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  • #23665

    Toby
    Participant

    Hi All

    Tried to add my details to the welcome Dad section, but won’t accept.

    Do us guys know how much empathy a woman really requires or expects?

    I don’t seem to offer enough, but get no time to myself, except when in my car going to and from work. When I get home I entertain the kids so my fiancée can finish dinner. Get them ready for bed etc. Deal with them during the night and feed them both in the morning.

    I work for myself so luckily I am flexible so can do the hospital runs when required, take days off and run the eldest to and from nursery. If I worked for someone I would be restricted by work hours. House jobs don’t get done because I am expected to help look after the kids all hours during the weekends.

    How do others fair?

  • #23717

    Dominic Hayhoe
    Keymaster

    The amount of empathy anyone requires is entirely bespoke.

    From your post, it sounds like what you need is to open really good communication channels with your Fiance.

    Have you told her how you feel, really? Have you sat down with her and told her how it affects you?

  • #25158

    Toby
    Participant

    Hi Dominic

    It would probably not help. She spends a lot of time on her phone, but when she watches Cory and I am on my pad, I get ‘you are always on your pad!’

    When I do something in a different way to her, then I get it in the neck, even though others would do it the same way as me, her dad etc.

    Thanks, but just have to put up with it!

  • #25480

    James
    Participant

    You only need enough empathy to acknowledge that your partner might feel like she can’t communicate with you, and that she might be more upset about the lack of open communication than the division of household chores. Talk to her, stop pretending that it won’t make a difference, and don’t get offended if she initially sounds like she doesn’t want to talk, share your frustrations and emotions with her, and let her do the same. Otherwise, if she really doesn’t believe in communication, it’s probably not a good time to find that out AFTER you’ve already knocked her up.

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