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It is a toughie. You obviously want them to sleep but I would be careful to get them too reliant on anything external- rocking, white noise etc obviously gets them to sleep easier but they will eventually get to expect it and wont sleep without it. The reality is that as long as they are fed, watered, dry etc and they are tired they will sleep. If they aren’t any of those things then they won’t. As they get older you can obviously sleep train them but when they are newborns you sort of have to let them decide for the first wee while.
Curious to know why you think getting a baby into a routine as soon as poss as a negative thing?
Both my boys have been sleeping through the night (at least 12 hours every night) since they were 8 weeks old. We kept to a few simple rules.. bath and bed at same time every night.. the last feed before bed is the only feed done upstairs and on our bed (also make it a larger feed). when they’ve napped during the day we never make it dark or turn the tv down or stop hoovering or any other normal chores etc.. naps are also always in the moses basket/cot or wherever they would normally sleep.. also with naps wake them up with a bottle instead of putting them to sleep after a bottle.. We have stuck to these simple hacks for he whole ‘baby’ period, our youngest has just turned 1 and our oldest is 7 they both always sleep a minimum of 12 hours every night and are both the happiest of boys. Everyone says we’re lucky however I believe it’s down to our routines in turn making a very happy home. Interested to see the flip side of people’s thoughts..When my little ones where baby’s we never really struggled they went in the own cot and went to sleep on there own and night feeds we would hold as little as possible, it was difficult if they had a bad night but power through and they will get there mine now sleep on there own and go to bed on there own supervised. We had a heart beat bear that they slept with as baby’s after a few months we took it away as didn’t get used but would defiantly recommend a heartbeat bear when first born as it comforts, from what they were used to in the womb.
My wife has been reading so many books. Her latest guru is Sarah Okwell Smith who is all about gentle sleep. Before we were more open to sleep training after he was old enough. Now that is considered too mean and unnecessary. “The baby will learn to sleep …gradually.” I’m all for avoiding trauma to our little 6 mos old boy but it sure is tempting to look at sleep training. We’re going nuts. He’s regressed in his sleep patterns. Up every hour or 2. Killing us.
What are your thoughts about sleep training, dads?
It’s been a hectic adventure for us. Our boy is 10 months old and it’s been phase after phase. During good phases he would sleep from 7:30PM to 11PM then to 3-4AM and finally wake up around 7-8AM and in bad phases he wakes up every hour. Currently he’s seriously teething and he’s waking up hourly and even though he’s “easy” to reassure and put back to sleep, it’s awful for us.
My wife works at a daycare and has read almost everything there is to read and we’ve set a routine for putting our boy to sleep : food, pyjama, story, lullaby and sleep and he falls asleep easily with our help but we haven’t found a way to get him through the night.
Her views are centered around positive parenting and being the softest and gentlest possible but I have a more “oldschool” vision that wants to try sleep training as that’s what all the people from the previous generation have told me works best so I tend to trust the people who’ve “seen it all” rather than the “new age gurus” who try to sell books.
At this point we are trying to have only me going to see our kid during the night to help him with his maternal separation because when mommy goes, she has to breastfeed him or else it’s hell and then she needs half an hour to get him to sleep, but when I go it’s usually a 5 minute ordeal, but having to do it every hour recently is really tolling especially when working full time.
I’m open to any tips and techniques that were efficient to get a “frequently waking baby” to shift to “12-hour sleep baby”!
