[Ken Adams88]

Had our first health visitor visit after the birth last week. I’ve been to most of the pre-birth scans and appointments with my partner as work have been really good with giving me the time off etc.

The health visitor seemed to spend an unusual amount of time asking my partner about the support I was giving her and pretty much asked if there were any signs of dangers of abuse. All this while I was sat in the room?!

My partner was also told at the pre-birth visit that they might open a book to a page on domestic abuse and she was to tap it if there was an issue as a signal!

Is this normal?!

[Dan Marchant]

Cant say I’ve personally experienced the exact same, but the visit after the birth they did ask alot of questions directly to me and also indirectly. More to gather what assistance they can offer I would guess?

The abuse thing might be just something they’ve added in to cover them on safeguarding

[Paul Davies]

Did she say the same thing to your partner? Why would domestic violence only be one way?

Makes me so angry!

[Ross]

It’s very common for this kind of thing to happen because most women suffer in silence they ask them at every opportunity. Although they tend to do it when they have the woman alone. I know my wife was asked at most appointments when I wasn’t their in both pregnancies and when they took her to get weighed or take bloods when I was there.

They also ask about contraception at almost ever appointment. I’m like twos enough I ain’t having any more lol

[Steven Osman]

Yup this is a normal question that all have have/should now ask, it certainly wasn’t directed towards you. I always find it a bit odd they ask when the sad is present though, and a very good point, why do we not get asked!

[Ben brooks]

Yeah they do the abuse thing is new we just had are third child and my wife was asked this

[Gavin Watson]

Never had any issues with our health visitor in fact she was really lovely towards both me and my wife. I think some of the questions can come across in the wrong way but at the end of the day they are assigned these by their bosses and it’s just work. I’ve heard some bad experiences with health visitors but also experienced good. It’s all about safeguarding at the end of the day.

[Simon]

They have to ask, there are various ways they do it, in my local health authority they have packs of red sticky dots in the female toilets so when the lady goes to produce her urine sample they can stick a dot on the tube if they want someone to approach them discretely about abuse.

While in the normal course of things I would agree that male domestic abuse is something that is swept under the rug, in these circumstances while pregnant and soon after childbirth, ladies are more vulnerable than normal so it is right there is a little more focus on their wellbeing, it isn’t an attack on the dad.

~Simon

[Author]

Posts