How to handle it?

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    • #232783
      Richard Novak

      Hello. My son is 8yo. From very young age ( 3yo) he wouldn’t want to stay with his mother.At the age of 5 we tried 50/50. It wouldn’t work,he couldn’t cope and wanted more time with me. This resulted in his stress,which then school put him on SEND program. Shortly after from the age of 6yo ,he stayed with me 5-6 nights per week. Holidays, school breaks etc he stays with me through out,as he won’t leave my house to see his mother. It has to be done after school where am not there,so that he has no choice but go with her. I spoke with number of solicitors asking how to make this official. I was told because we both have parental responsibility and there’s no conflict regarding child arrangements, court is unlikely to issue an order. So basically I should carry on and not worry. Well.. i disagree. His mother still receives benefits towards my son. I mayde counter claim and still waiting. I notified school about possible phonecall from HMRC to confirm days my son is with me etc. His mother picks my son up every Monday after school and drops him off Tuesday morning school. Then every other week,she picks him up Wednesday until Thursday morning school drop off. I wanted her to take him every other Saturday,but she claims that she works. So since 18mths until now she hasn’t even asked for one Saturday. Ok that’s fine by me . Guys, what I doing wrong? Is it because I don’t apply for residency despite lawyer advice,not to? Or maybe I should reduce contact further,so that she gets frustrated and ask for agreement during mediation? My son still is upset going with her, one solicitor actually suggested to not force him to go with her . He also said that even if she got frustrated and tried to do something, they will tell her to go with family therapy before getting more contact with my son, which inevitably would give me some written agreement. What u guys think?

    • #251299
      Andrew Campbell

      Hi Richard,

      This sounds very difficult. You might find support for formalising your living arrangements from the SEN support services around your child, particularly if your child has any kind of mental health diagnosis such as Autism. If so, would this change the advice of your solicitor?

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