- 06/12/2020 at 9:19 am #138676
I’m new here, hope everyone is well.
In August last year my wife declared she no longer loved me and our marriage was over. There were no major incidents, we had just grown apart over time, and me being a typical man hadn’t noticed and she just got to the point where she’d had enough.
I then found out she had been seeing someone for a few months before she announced we were over. As she has cheated I have no intention of ever getting back with her, I despise liars and cheats.
Naturally, I was angry. I moved into the spare room and have been there ever since. We have 2 young boys aged 11 and 7, who know that Mum and Dad don’t love each other anymore. It’s got to the point now where I can’t live in the same house as her. She doesn’t speak to me, at all, has absolutely no respect for me and was not particularly nice to me when she made her announcement. At that time I told her if she wasn’t happy she should leave. She refused saying the house was her home, and she wouldn’t leave her boys.
I cannot afford to move out as renting is so expensive, or at least if I did, all my money would go on my new place and I wouldn’t be able to contribute to the boys financially. If we sold the house and split the money we wouldn’t really have much to buy seperate places. My eldest has said he likes our house and doesn’t want to leave it either. I’ve looked into housing benefit but it would appear I’m not entitled.
I’m stuck , and it’s getting me down not being able to move on. It is so frustrating too that she has made this situation and she will be sitting pretty in our nice house.
Has anyone had a similar experience, and if so, how did you overcome it?
Thanks in advance
- 09/12/2020 at 8:52 pm #138888
Since it was her that decided it was over, then it is she that should leave. Don’t give her the upper hand. You can’t be expected to suck up the pain as a result of her choices. She is worried about leaving the kids. That is her choice. It is a package deal. I suspect the balance of their time between you and her won’t be affected by that anyway.
If selling the house balances the equation, then by all means do that. Your kids preference if keeping the house or not is not relevant. They will adjust to whatever home(s) they are in.
I would start by documenting her actions (including the affair) and what she said and continues to say. It may be of value when it comes to how your imminent divorce and custody issues go. Also get some legal counsel as soon as you can.
Best of luck!
- 09/12/2020 at 10:57 pm #138893
Firstly, I’m sorry you are having to deal with this, especially with everything going on this year.
I don’t have any experience in this, but I will say this, it was her choice to end the relationship, she is the one who cheated, it should be her leaving the home.
From the sounds of it. The house is equally yours and hers? That’s the hard bit, I would suggest standing your ground, but remaining as polite as possible. She has already taken your marriage from you, now she wants to take your home from you? Thats not right.