not sure what to do

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    • #28177

      trying123
      Participant

      hi all, new to this. I’ve 2 kids, aged 13 and 11. I’ve not been with their mum for almost 10years. I feel recently things have slowly gotten worse. I feel as if they treat me more like an older brother or uncle and not a father and only see me as a bank or mode of transport to take them places. I try my best for them but there times they go home and tell her stuff from my house, like saying they weren’t allowed to go to the park, which was a lie. they also said they were scared to ask me for money but I’m sure that’s come from their mum. I pay her money every week, always go half on school uniform and take them on days out when I can. and she has a history of lying frequently. I think they seem to think if theres something happens at my house, they can go and tell her and she will solve it. like a time my daughter didn’t like the time I told her to go to bed during their overnight stay, and she texted her mum, and then she phoned my to say the bedtime was 2 early! I don’t share my opinions on how their mum parents them, even though theres stuff I don’t agree with.. sorry I know that’s a bit waffley, but any advice would be helpful!
      thanks.

    • #28650

      Sean Reece-Smith
      Participant

      Sorry for your situation it’s got to be tough.

      What’s your relationship with your ex like? The best opinion I think I can give is to talk. Either to the kids and explain to them your point of view, and / or your ex. You may not be together but you’re raising the kids together and for me the kids shouldn’t be weaponised. Don’t have a hostile discussion though.

      Essentially how can your kids / ex know there’s something wrong if you don’t tell them?

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