[Will Lyton]

Hi there!

I’ve recently joined dadsnet after listening to a few of the podcasts and after some challenging times lately I thought this may be a good place to come to for some advice…

I have a 15 month old son who is in nursery full time. With recent rises in living costs we have had to keep an eye on spending, and are just about making things work at the minute. But money is tight. We had an email this week from our sons nursery saying that fees are increasing, by a whopping 21%. The impact for us is about £250-£300 a month extra in nursery fees, and I don’t have a clue how we’re going to manage. We’ve looked around at other nurseries but they all have at least a 9 month waiting list. So we’re stuck. Not really sure what to do.

My wife is fairly chilled when it comes to money – her general view is that things always work out, so it’ll be fine. My approach is panic, and fear that we won’t be able to give our son the best childhood. So it’s causing me a huge stress and I’m struggling to know what to do.

Appreciate views from others on how you’re dealing with cost of living increases and advice on managing nursery costs?! One option we’ve thought about is me quitting work as I earn less, but we would be worse off (marginally).

Thanks so much,
Will

[Mumm-Ra]

I think you should start by breaking down your current joint costs including everything (housing costs, bills etc.) against your earnings.

For us, we both went part time and I worked evenings and some weekends. The way the tax system works meant that we were better off. With breakfast and after school clubs for our elder child, along with extra fees for early drops and late pick ups at nursery, it wasn’t worth working full time. Not forgetting the extra rushing around.

You can claim back childcare vouchers through work which saves a bit as does funding for children once they reach 3 years of age if your joint earnings don’t exceed £100,000. My mum also looked after my son one day a week. Once he turned 3, he did a few days at nursery with the funding covering a large part of the fees.

It was tough juggling everything but the time has flown by and enabled me to take my son out to different places during term time. Many churches run community events although stay at home dads are still rare.

4 years is nothing and I don’t regret halting my career or the impact on my pension.

[John Hall]

Hi!

My main principle in life is that if you need more money, you need to figure out how to make extra money. I had a similar situation, but in our family it’s the other way around – I’m calmer, my wife, on the contrary, worries a lot. However, I try to calm her down and solve problems.

I wish you to cope with everything!

[Author]

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