Partner with Anxiety and working shifts

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This topic contains 1 reply, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  Dominic Hayhoe 2 months, 2 weeks ago.

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  • #21764

    Blue01
    Participant

    Hi,
    Just wondering if any one has any experiences of having a partner with anxiety (specifically in the evening/early morning) and you working shifts?

    Our Daughter had Colic and Reflux from an early age meaning we both didn’t sleep for about the first 5 weeks of her little life, then it didn’t get much better until she was around 12 months old. I believe as a result of this my wife becomes stressed in the evenings, and this is exacerbated when our Daughter isn’t sleeping well.

    Adding to all this I am a shift worker, I regularly work night shifts and my job does not afford me the luxury of being able to head home at the drop of a hat. Admittedly if I have a serious issue at home I can leave but I also don’t want to abuse the good will of my employer, line managers and colleagues.
    If my wife is struggling at home when I am on night shift I feel awful that I am not around to help out and to be a Dad. I offer to ask my manager if I can come home for at least a short period to help settle her, but my wife is worried about what my colleagues and friends will think of her if I do this.

    When I come off shift I try to take over as much of the parenting as possible to give my Wife a break. It doesn’t help that my daughter gets very clingy with my wife as I sometimes work 72hr weeks and have even worked 100+ hour weeks in times of crisis. This often leaves me exhausted and at times I feel like I don’t get to catch up on any sleep.

    I also work in a very male orientated environment so find it difficult to broach the subject with line managers/colleagues.

    If anyone has had similar issues or any advice it would be great to hear.

    Thanks

  • #21841

    Dominic Hayhoe
    Keymaster

    I was in a similar situation, you feel torn and guilty when you shouldn’t.

    I always believe in these situations continued communication is the key.

    That’s communication with your partner, with your work and yes I believe some sort of counselling is a huge help, whether that’s with both of you together or separately.

    Saying nothing is the worse thing you can do.

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