[Dan]

Hi All,

new to the site, im going to keep the story short so I don’t bore you all,
basically I left my wife last week after being unhappy for months, reasons behind it are not as bad as many may think, basically we got married 9 years ago, but around 1 year before we got married we split up for a few days, both were young I was 20 and she was 24, I had a one night stand with a girl I worked with, my then to be wife said that this was effectively cheating as we on split up temporarily, she has never let me live this down and constantly reminds me of the ‘Mistake’ that I made, now I admit I haven’t been the best husband in the world, but I did more than my fair share of the house work, child raising ect, so anyway, after years of her putting me down and labelling me a ‘Cheat’ I gradually came to realise that maybe I had done her wrong and that I wasn’t good enough to be her husband and a father, I left last week and the looks on my childrens faces when I left was soul destroying, crying and begging me not to go, I briefly returned 2 days ago for one night and we ended up sleeping together which I now regret as it may have given her false hope, my point is that am I a bad person and father for leaving or was this situation on the cards all along, I just don’t know what to do with myself, I miss my children like crazy and would go to the ends of the earth for them, but I cannot face this relationship continuing as it is any longer, any advice would be greatly appreciated,

Thanks

[Anonymous]

Hi Dan,
It sounds like you both really need outside help to find out what you both really feel.

Some kind of counselling, be it marriage guidance or another type can really help you both offer your true feelings in an unbiased environment.

We all do things we later regret, but it very much sounds like you both need to understand what it is you exactly want.

Have you told your wife how much it hurts you every time she reminds you that you cheated? Have you ‘really’ talked to her about it and other issues?

I think before giving up on a once good relationship you should always seek professional help for all your sakes.

Hope that helps.

[Author]

Posts