- 07/02/2019 at 8:25 pm #21955
”You have postnatal depression” Not a phrase you ever expect to hear as a man, especially as a man with 4 children. But that’s exactly the position I found myself in last year.
Being diagnosed with depression as a man, a father and the main provider for your family is tough to accept. Being diagnosed with what is normally seen as female condition makes it 10x harder to come to terms with. Not only did I have to try and deal with the feelings of depression but also the feelings of almost being an impostor.
Having negative feelings towards your child is almost part of parenthood, everyone has them from time to time. But having feelings of resentment, almost hatred towards your child, is incredibly upsetting. It wasn’t a constant feeling but when I was struggling and having a bad day/week it was overwhelming. There were still times when I would look at my child with nothing but a huge amount of love and affection. But that was always accompanied with huge amount of guilt for having those negative feelings at all.
Until I was able to talk to someone, which for me started with an anonymous chat with the charity Campaign Against Living Miserably, I didn’t realise that when you battle with depression, you’re not necessarily feeing or thinking logically. Your emotions are in overdrive and I felt mine where 1000x worse than “normal”
With the help of my GP, family and a few social media accounts, I am learning to understand that although depression is part of me for now, it isn’t who I am. These feelings will come and go, possibly for the rest of my life, but recognising when they are here and trying to putt into place coping mechanisms is really helping.
Has anyone else ever had postnatal depression or know of any other guys that have? Would love to chat with anyone who has and exchange experiences etc 👍🏻
- 09/02/2019 at 10:31 am #22008
Yeh I did/do 6 years ago when my daughter was first born I fell pretty hard. My wife said to me “you know men get post natal depression too” I thought she was crazy. But after 6 years of consistent depression followed by a cataclysmic breakdown which resulted in me spending 2 years in and out of mental health hospitals countless hours of therapy, I realized that although I had depression consistently on and off my whole life it only really kicked off after my first daughter was born.