- 11/01/2019 at 7:22 am #21248
So my wife and I had our baby boy 3 months ago. And it was very traumatic for us both. The experience of hospital was dire and I think this didn’t help us both. The staff weren’t supportive and just made us feel crap. My wife ended up with an emergency c section and that for me was pritty brutal it was like a battlefield surgery. Then in theater no one would speak to us and what was going on. Just felt out of control as we couldn’t even hold our boy. He was taken to neo natal and helped there. He’s is healthy and happy bars the colic and struggle to poop some times. But since he was born I have had horrendous nightmares, waking up to see if he was in he’s Moses basket or to run to side to see if he’s breathing. I am now on medication to help me.
Has anyone else had this happen to them ? And how did you cope
- 11/01/2019 at 8:48 am #21253Dominic HayhoeMember
Yes we too found the older maternity nurses awful (the younger one’s seemed more caring) and like you also had an emergency C with our first.
Our daughter wouldn’t sleep at all for 3 months and we were walking zombies. In the end I sought outside help from a sleep nanny which was a godsend.
I would seek outside help sooner rather than later.
Hope it improves for you.
- 11/01/2019 at 9:20 am #21259
I have had a couple sessions of councilling but not much help to be honest. I speak to my wife (I think I try to) but it’s hard to express myself. The doctors prescribed me sertraline for a form of anti depressants but not much help. I have tried CBT therapy. It’s the fact that my wee man is safe in his bed I’m waking in a panic trying to find him and it’s scary to wake up sweating and in a mad panic
- 12/01/2019 at 12:59 pm #21304Gordon GannonParticipant
So sorry to hear this has happened to you> OUr first was aprotracted labour at the end about 12 Dr’s and nurses poured into the room and whisked her off for an assisted birth I did feel pretty left out and seemed that i was remembered at the last minute as i heard someone in the theatre ask where dad was
She was delivered fine but i can understand how you are feeling have you asked for counseling i would think some cbt therapy would help I’m sorry that i can’t suggest any groups you could contact but do know you’re not alone. LOve and Hugs to you all xx
- 12/01/2019 at 1:05 pm #21306
It was theater and the shit show of everyone rushing in and not explaining anything to us as our limp little boy was taken away. It was horrible and I felt so out of control as there was nothing I could do to help my wife or myself. But now he’s here I’m still really troubled with nightmares and PTSD
- 12/01/2019 at 1:53 pm #21308Tom JenningsParticipant
Had the dreams and all of that, still do sometimes, part of parenthood is worries about your children, worries that they may not be safe or something is wrong. His mum had the emergency csection but the staff were great and always there to talk about it.
- 12/01/2019 at 11:06 pm #21319Si HydeParticipant
Your post sounds remarkably similar to the birth of our first born, Toby. I ended up seeing way to much of my partner ‘over the green sheet’ in the operating theatre during the emergency section, and your description of the doctors and nursing staff moving your baby’s ‘limp body’ away to work on him is exactly what happened to us. It took them 3 very long minutes to get him breathing. The shit show of labor where we could have lost our little one and or Francesca, and being ignored by the doctors.So I’ve an idea of what you’ve been through.
PTSD is pretty much where it’s at I imagine. I struggle to get my head around having Toby and even dare I say it, loving him, for the first 3 months. I was a complete mess.
I’d like to reassure you though, I too took a trip to the doctors and was able to talk a lot about how I felt. Talking to Francesca as well as a very good counsellor helped me realise that I wasn’t ‘odd’ in feeling the way I did. And that what I had been through was pretty bloody dreadful. That as the fragile human beings that we are, big traumatic events can have a big impact.
However, and this is important, we can and do work them through. I promise you.
It really sounds like you are doing *everything* right. Talking to your wife, going to the doc, and taking the medication that has been prescribed. And coming on here too.
Be kind to yourself. Don’t expect yourself to come good straight away. You’ve been through **a lot** and it will take time to get better.
If you would like a chat, just to vent, to shout, to cry or to just natter for a bit, please drop me a message (if you can do that through here haha I’m not sure) and I’ll pass on my mobile number.
Take it easy
- 13/01/2019 at 10:29 am #21325Tomas PatersonParticipant
To be honest im feeling kind of the same with my third kid just turning a week old im finding my self emotional and panicing and the best thing ive tried is just allowing it to happen in the understanding that its a new baby and nothing is gonna be the same again. in the sense that allow yourself to panic n fret over the baby for a while n eventually it will get easier as time goes by.
a friend of mine has just had his first baby and him and his OH wont leave the wee thing alone for anytime to them selves.
- 13/01/2019 at 1:29 pm #21327
don’t get me wrong I understand there’s a major life adjustment having a baby but to feel crappy about the birth and feel out of control because you can’t take there pain away or to get the really crap images out of your head isn’t fair. The surgery was so messed up and they waited 20 mins before taking our son away to neo but we weren’t able to see him or anything as a massive team of people came in and worked on our LO. he’s amazing but you still can’t help the feeling of being lost and just a bit deflated because of the whole thing. I feel let down by the NHS andnd I’m scared to have another child with what happened to my wife and I. I couldn’t go through all the truama again. I know it sounds selfish but I’m to frightend as I nearly lost my little man in the labour.
Ps you guys who have replied thank you for your support and experiences. Please email me and we can chat as I’ll set up a what’s app group to chat also
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