- 25/05/2021 at 9:57 am #159280
Looking for any advice:
Was married for 11 years and had 2 daughters who I used to have a great relationship with. My wife had an affair and ended our relationship. I waited 5 years or so before starting to date again, during which time, everything was fine. The moment I started to ‘get back out there’, my ex turned very sour and toxic which has been projected onto my kids. 10+ years on, I’m now engaged to a new partner who I have been with for several years – against my now-teenage daughters’ wishes – and want to get on with my life …but am basically being held to ransom by them / their mum. If I choose to pursue my romantic relationship, I basically have to live with not seeing my kids …if I want to see my kids, I cant have a new partner!
In my world, I dont see why this has to be mutually exclusive. I seem to be being punished for my ex-wife’s decisions and mistakes. I now only see my daughters for a couple of hours a month and they are practically strangers, despite being the innocent party in all this. How do I rebuild this when they want nothing to do with me while I have any new partner? I have no idea whether they know the truth about how & why their mum and I split up – I’m not sure them knowing the truth would really make anything any better – seems rather a spiteful thing to do – it does me no favours for them to have a negative view of thier mum but, equally, I am sick of being treated as ‘the bad guy’