The Crying!!

Viewing 2 reply threads
  • Author
    • #37578


      Hi all

      I’m new to the whole forum sharing so please bare with me but im interested to see if anyone has had similar experiences as myself.

      2 years ago after 5 years of trying to have a child my wife gave birth to our son. Everyone asked me if I cried at the birth I said no, their reaction made me feel as though i was some sort of Physcopath.

      As time went on I started to notice a anger building inside of me. I had no idea why. When ever my son would cry the noise would go through me. I would clench my jaw. If my wife went out I’d start to panic any noise he made or face he pulled I thought he’d start crying and I wouldn’t be able to help him.

      One night my wife went out. My son had trapped wind he cried for 1 hour solid. My wife couldn’t help over the phone I was sweating panicking I got angry. Not at him at myself. It wasnt just anger it was rage. My blood was boiling I placed my son on the sofa I was shaking I walked into the kitchen and screamed. After that release I walked back into the room and attempted to deal with my son again.

      I felt useless.

      My wife came home within minutes settled him and he was his adorable self once again.

      This happened more than once. Until I started to put my headphones on and turn my music up if he was having a melt down it helped massively.

      Fast forward to present day we have a happy healthy 2 year old and now a 7 week old….my 2 year old cries but it’s a different type of cry. He only does it when he hurts himself….he can communicate now I can deal with it.

      However my 7 week old just brought back all those feelings again. Frustration, helplessness in not being able to stop him crying. To take away what evers upsetting him.

      The rage returned a few nights ago. Clenched jaw shaking limbs red mist I had my 2 year old crying the new born crying. It was piercing I couldn’t cope. I walked out the room paced the hall sweating trying to calm down but I could still hear the noise I shouted “FUUUCK” and elbowed the door to the kitchen multiple times leaving in it a hole the size of my guilt.

      I’ve spoken to my wife. She thinks it’s normal but I know it’s not.

      I’m not sure where to turn or whats up with me but I saw this forum and I just wanted to know someone is suffering the same way or knows someone who has. Even just someone to talk to.


    • #37703


      Hey man,

      I’m new here to.

      I’m no expert at all and definitely no shrink, i’m three kids in and i’ve made lots of mistakes! I do know that if i’m stressed or anxious about other stuff it will effect my interactions with my wife and my kids so i can only suggest that maybe the crying triggers something in you.

      I’m in therapy for a whole load of other issues which has really helped, just opening up to a stranger about random sh*t that bothers me. I waas never the type of guy that would even contemplate it but it’s definitely helped. It’s good that you recognise it and that you’ve told your wife though.

      I know you don’t know me but feel free to get in touch if you want to talk dude – if you’re suffering it always helps to talk.

    • #39562

      Jonathan Harrison

      Mate I am completely empathising and it is normal.

      I was buzzing for my little boy. I had this utopian vision and the reality is far from it. Dex had colic hardcore and basically screamed and then slept an hour or two.

      If I am being honest , and I take no pride in it, I hated the las for weeks and took every opportunity to leave the house.

      It came to a head when I came in from work and my partner was desperate for a pee kid feed. I was given bottle and baby and she disappeared. He wouldn’t take the feed and she came back and said ‘do this or that’ or something to that effect.

      I snapped, stood up and gave Dex back and went ‘he doesn’t fucking want it from me so what’s the fucking point’ and walked out in tears.

      She cried. I cried in a separate room.

      Roll on 4 years and giving myself a slap of at least give it a go Dex is amazing.

      Remember you are more than a father and the life you had before still exists, it just needs a tweak.

      Much love brother.

Viewing 2 reply threads

You must be logged in to reply to this topic.

Please Log In or Register to continue.

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!