- 17/09/2018 at 11:32 pm #18037
Drop your best here.
Entertain us Dads!!
- 18/09/2018 at 8:03 am #18060
Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, “do you know how to drive this thing?”
- 18/09/2018 at 11:31 am #18135
Why did the mushroom go to the party?
Because he was a fun guy!
Why did the fungi leave the party?
Because there wasn’t much room!
- 02/10/2018 at 9:10 pm #18975
- 19/09/2018 at 1:32 am #18271
Scott Moore – The Voice Of A FatherParticipant
Why are mountains so funny?
Because they are hill areas
- 24/09/2018 at 12:51 am #18516
Please can anybody tell me the name of the actor who played Forrest Gump?
- 02/10/2018 at 5:33 pm #18877
Why does the Norwegian navy have barcodes on the side of their ships…
So when they arrive back in port, they can Scandinavian
- 02/10/2018 at 5:39 pm #18886
What’s a cheeses favourite type of music…..?
R n Brie
??? Your welcome ?
- 02/10/2018 at 5:39 pm #18887
- 02/10/2018 at 5:39 pm #18888
I’m reading a horror story in Braille, something bad is going to happen….I can feel it
- 02/10/2018 at 6:07 pm #18900
What’s brown and sticky?
- 02/10/2018 at 6:43 pm #18904
Mike Cgh Medium WatsonParticipant
If it’s a dad joke it has to be…
What did the policeman say to his stomach?
You are under a vest
- 02/10/2018 at 7:15 pm #18908
I was woken in the middle of the night by a man stealing the rusty old gate at the bottom of my garden. I didn’t say anything though, I didn’t want him to take a fence.
- 02/10/2018 at 7:29 pm #18918
Three balloons. Daddy balloon, mummy balloon and baby balloon.
Thunder cracks and lightning begin…
Daddy balloon says to baby balloon, “look son, you are much too old to sleep with mummy and daddy, you will have to sleep in your own bed.” Baby balloon protests, “I like sleeping with you and mummy.” “No you are not sleeping with us and thats final.”
“Ok” says baby balloon sadly and returns to his bed.
Two in the morning baby ballon wakes up and dicides to climb into bed with mummy and daddy. He finds there is no room, so he unties his dads knot and lets out some air, and ties him up again. Still no room, so he unties his mummys knot, also lets some air out and ties her up again. he still can’t get in, so he unties his own knot, lets out some air, and ties himself up again, he finally has room, and snuggles down with mummy and daddy.
The next day they all wake, and daddy balloon is really angry. He said “son, I am really disapointed with you, I said you can’t sleep with us… you’ve let me down, you’ve let your mummy down, and you’ve let yourself down too”
- This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by Emjay James.
- 02/10/2018 at 7:52 pm #18938
Chuck Norris was Potty trained 2 weeks before he was born.
- 02/10/2018 at 7:56 pm #18943
What do you call a man with a spade on his head?
What do you call a man without a spade on his head?
What do you call a man with a car on his head?
What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?
Haha a few to keep you going
- 02/10/2018 at 8:04 pm #18948
Jack Thedaddyspadge WalshawParticipant
What do you call a 3 humped camel ????
- 02/10/2018 at 8:21 pm #18956
how do monkeys cook their toast in the jungle? under the gorilla
- 02/10/2018 at 8:22 pm #18958
My son asked me to stop listening to Oasis…..”I said Maaayybbeeeee”
- 02/10/2018 at 8:23 pm #18960
Did you hear about the magic tractor?
It went down the road and turned into a field
- 02/10/2018 at 8:27 pm #18964
Why are pirates always angry? Because they arrrrrrrrrrr.
- 02/10/2018 at 8:38 pm #18971
Bought a dog the other day. Got him from the local blacksmith.
As soon as I got him home he made a bolt for the door
- 02/10/2018 at 9:11 pm #18978
(First day as a vet)
Me: What seems to be the problem?
Me: Yes but where?
- 02/10/2018 at 10:03 pm #18985
Some bloke came up to me and attacked me with milk, butter, cheese and yogurt
- 02/10/2018 at 10:08 pm #18987
Stephen, my most successful and dare I say it, favourite, racing snail has not been performing to the best of his ability recently. I spent weeks researching diet plans, training regimes and performance reviews. I decided after all this to remove his shell, I really thought it would speed him up. In reality, it’s just made him even more Sluggish.
- 02/10/2018 at 10:39 pm #18992
Why did the Mexican push his wife off the cliff ?
Te-quila ! ( To kill her ! )
- 02/10/2018 at 10:40 pm #18994
How do you make a hormone ?
Don’t pay her !
- 02/10/2018 at 11:02 pm #18998
Statistically 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren’t happy
- 03/10/2018 at 1:50 am #19007
2 fish swimming along 1 hits a brick wall other says damm
- 04/10/2018 at 7:44 am #19069
Daniel John TolleyParticipant
How do you get pikachu onto a bus?
- 04/10/2018 at 7:46 am #19073
Why did the sand blush? Because the sea weed.
- 04/10/2018 at 7:51 am #19075
No need to by little chap
- 04/10/2018 at 7:51 am #19077
No need to cry little chap