- 07/12/2020 at 8:38 pm #138763
Theres alot to my story, its left me mentally & emotionally destroyed, I dont really know where to start? so much time has passed & tbh im a bit scared of doing this due to what comments if not the helpfull kind, might do to my mental health but then again im more scared of what it might do to everyone involved if i dont “do something” or try to. but where to start??
So to begin with I was sent to prison for my part in a robbery after being arrested of all days christmas day. ( believe me i have tourtured myself enough) I feel like iv straight away now iv said that I feel like iv no business being on here looking for help after putting my girls thru such an awfull and scary experiance as that alone….
I dont know how this works, i hate myself all the more when the reality of everything hits me and feel like i dont deserve any help or advise. I am so ashamed of what i did to be arrested, and for putting my girls thru it. Maybe if I leave it there for now and see if anyone has any ideas on how i can try to get my story out get to what it is im looking for help with. what i did is Not who i am. I was a husband a daddy and ran a small business.I served the time as well i should have for such a crime and paid a massive price, as did my family. I suppose im trying to express that I know it was wrong, im to blame and rightly so there should be conseqences for crime. I have paid my debt to society and now trying to recover the debt of the price my girls paid by loosing there dad, family life and having there lives ripped appart for no fault of theres. by trying to now be a part of there lives again giving them there daddy back and being a possitive infulance and a shot at happyness as best i can.
My wife and I relationship was broken years before as she made many “mistakes” was unfaithfull countless times one even resulting in her secretly having an abortion as a result of her infidelity. Not wanting to split the girls family life up I chose to stay with wife and forgive her but knowing all that she had done slowley ate me up inside consuming me replacing me with someone who can do what i did to be arrested. but the relationship with my girls was amazing. we went on holidays, had fun, learned from eachother the bond was infectious and obvious my oldest and youngest were nicknamed my shadows we loved just being together. i dont know what a perfect family is but my girls and i had perfect relationships and due to me coming from a broken home gave me a drive to give them a stable family life regsrdless of my wife and my relationship. contradiction by commiting a crime risking it ,yes i know!!, people make mistakes and i know im not perfect, who truly is.
everyday whilst in prison id phone home, write them all letters, draw pictures for them, make them matchstick toy modles and we had weekly visits, being of good behaviour i was allowed to have special familyday visits monthly where we had a full day together.
after just over a year though my phone calls were not answered and letters to me stopped eventually the visits stopped and wife told me things were tight financially, i tried to work it out to help her but nothing i said was listened to. and when i did get thru on phone i started to notice irregular and wierd tones of voices. never truly realised what was happening at the time but now i understand what and why wife was being the way she was.
it was our visit day and i was dressed shaved and obviously excited to be seeing the girls. the time passed and my door was not opened for vist. soon as i could i phoned wife now worried the something had happened, late or missed train and worse thinking possible illness? so first chance i got i used the phone and was answered with a blank dial tone…. re dialed over and over and over untill i realised the phone had been turned off. days went by with nothing, then weeks turned into months eventually a year. not hearing my girls voices and not having any idea whats going on my mental health detiorarated and i lost the plot big time. eventually refered to mental health diagnosed with p.t.s.d depression anxiety put on medication and counselling to get to the bottom of my whole lifes health issues. id gained over 6 stone thru eating dissorder then lost the weight well without going on about it was looking like i was F.U.B.A.R i lost my way. and still had years to sereve completley alone with no explination or real unredstanding of what or why. Not knowing what my girls are doing where they were, if they were even alive. Mental Health getting worse realising that the girls being so young would also be at a loss as th wheres and whys daddy gone? knowing that our bond was so that they must too be feeling something but what??
eventually when i had a year left i was moved to an open prison with lowest security and possible home visits but id learned that i had no home to goto as wife had vanished.
slowley i began to learn exactly what wife had done.
turnes out that right from the beggining she had been unfithfull and had been leaving the girls often alone to be with other men and telling the girl that daddy was not to be told she had been leaving them as to not worry me they were told to tell me lies she pre programmed them on what to be saying on our visits.and to never answer phone if she wasnt at home.
then i learned that she had told them that daddy had moved prisons to a place for bad people who were not allowed visits worse tho my oldest had asked why daddy stopped ringing asking dose daddy not love us anymore and her relp was well he not ringing anymore so he cant love us all the while wife had turned her mobile off and gotten a new phone.
then things said on phone before that i thought wierd started to make sence wife had been manipulating us all.
wife let my little girls who totally utterly loved and loved back believe that daddy didnt love them. eventually wife had gotten pregnant at which time she turned off phones, stopped visiting, packed up house, totally rinsed my business plundging into unrecovarble debt, used my name for loans and move them all to another part of country to move in with another man.
i tried to contact her thru fb and family but was met with severe hostility.
then out of the blue my oldest sent me a message via fb, and what i read was like it had come from a complete stranger full of foul language, half storys of why she hates me and of how great her life is and most hurting saying that this new man her mum with is basically gold plated version of jesus the best thing in her life for whateve reason and saying nothing of her life before that made any sence at all as it was not true. wife has totally gone to work on the girls mentally and emotionally. this message from Scarlett destroyed me.
its a year later now. i still no idea where my girls are, wife has destroyed ally memories of there life before kind of erasing me from there lifes. I have hundereds of pictures and letters from them from before this new man and theres thousands of videos photos and such up on social media from our lifes before prison that completely show the EXACT OPPOSITE of what they now believe. now to see it all and say how can what wifes told them even remotly relate to the truth is to say the least IMPOSSIBLE. theres an obvious manipulation plane to see.
now im in a place where i can act, iv convinced my self that just because wife wants to be with another man has nothing to do with me and my girls. our relationship should not have been destroyed because of it and i need help not only legally but given the extraordinary lengths wife has gone to to destroy our bond is her using the girls and on no level is it right and after looking into it im sure theres somethig that can be done. wifes even gone as far as to change there names illigally and have got my girls to call this previously unknown stranger dad.
if anyone can even slightly relate to anything and has any advise PLEASE HELP.
- 09/12/2020 at 7:46 pm #138885
May I ask what age the children are?