There are at least five types of dad joke available to fathers around the world. This may not seem like many, but you need to bear in mind that the dad joke as a genre has never been about variety. No, much more important is repetition. “Repeat until funny” is the key. No matter how long that takes. 

What is a dad joke?

The dad joke is an essential piece of kit for anyone who is a dad, stepdad, grandad or indeed any other male carer.

They are gags that elicit at best a groan of acknowledgement from your kids. But to expect any more is to misunderstand the dad joke. The dad joke is meant to make the father laugh and any vaguely positive reaction from anyone else is just a happy bonus.

So here are the five main types of dad joke and details on how to use them correctly.

The types of dad joke

1) “Hello Bored, I’m Dad”

This classic of the category is entirely flexible, but usually runs along these lines. The child huffs and puffs and then spits out the words “I’m bored” to which dad, eyes never moving from his newspaper, replies with a simple, “Hello Bored, I’m Dad.” Hilarity ensues for dad. Child huffs again and the then slinks out of the room.

Other popular variations of this dad joke include “I’m hungry”, “Hello Hungry, I’m Dad” or “I’m not ready to wake up yet”, “Hello Not Ready to Wake Up Yet, I’m Dad”.

Basically, any time your children attempt to inform you of their current status, beginning with the word “I’m”, you can slip this dad joke in. One word of warning – do not attempt to do so if the preceding statement runs along the lines of “I’m still hugely upset about grandma’s death”.

The best way to deliver this gag is as deadpan as possible. Don’t try and ham it up, the more monotonous the response, the funnier the joke. For you. Always just for you.

2) “I don’t think it will fit me”

Sadly one of the downsides of your children becoming more independent is that you no longer qualify for this excellent dad joke. Make the most of it whilst your kids are young.

Here’s how it works: the child asks for your help getting dressed, using the sentence “can you put my jumper on?” The answer to this is always, “I don’t think it will fit me.”

It’s simple, but effective and can even be reversed like this: “Dad, can you take my shoes off please?” “I’m not wearing your shoes.”

One of the best bits of this dad joke is the glorious anticipation you feel when your offspring are struggling with their clothes. You know you will get your next chance to drop the gag in soon and it couldn’t be any more exhilarating. Well, you have to make your own fun when you’re too old, tired and too skint to go out.

3) The Humble Pun

If there is an expiry date on the “I Don’t Think it Will Fit Me” dad joke, the pun is the polar opposite. From before they can even understand the most obvious meaning of a word, let alone another secondary meaning, you can pun away.

This is because, as stated at length, a dad joke is entirely for your own benefit.

There are no rules to punning, just do it. You might want to set yourself a challenge to make sure they all make complete sense, but that is categorically not important or necessary. Here are some puns that you might be able to squeeze into everyday parenting scenarios:

• “That Italian food we saved in the fridge from the other night is pasta its best”.
• “Don’t feed PlayDoh to the dog, he’ll feel ruff in the morning”.
• “I don’t mind changing the baby, but I’m not nappy about it”.

And so on.

4) “How long’s dinner?”

Kids are hungry and impatient as a matter of course. This means that they will pester you to find out when their food is ready, However, if they use the terminology “how long’s dinner?”, your luck is in. You can reply with a fine dad joke. 

Your response should be to hold your hands out, plate-size distance apart, and say “about 25cm.”

It’s a winner every time. 

5) Physical humour

We’ve lumped all the physical elements of dad jokes into one handy section, because it is really a side platter to the main course. When you think dad joke, you really think of something verbal, but there are plenty of opportunities to clown around too.

A good example is testing the temperature of the bath water and recoiling in horror as if it was bubbling lava, no matter how tepid it is. Placing your toddler on your lap to help them put their shoes on and the ‘accidentally’ trying to put it on your own foot is another stone cold banger.

Do you know any other type of dad joke? Add them in the Comments