There are at least four types of dad joke available to fathers around the world. This may not seem like many, but you need to bear in mind that the dad joke as a genre has never been all about variety. No, much more important is repetition. As my wife often tells me: “repeat until funny”. Although from her tone of voice, I’d suggest she still feels that particular endpoint is still some way away.

The dad joke is an essential piece of kit for anyone who is a dad, stepdad, grandad or indeed any other male carer.

They are gags that elicit at best a groan of acknowledgement from your kids, but once again, to expect any more is to misunderstand the dad joke. The dad joke is meant to make the father laugh and any vaguely positive reaction from anyone else is just a happy bonus.

So here are the four main types of dad joke and details on how to use them correctly.

1) “Hello Bored, I’m Dad”

This classic of the category is entirely flexible, but usually runs along these lines. The child huffs and puffs and then spits out the words “I’m bored” to which dad, eyes never moving from his newspaper, replies with a simple, “Hello Bored, I’m Dad.” Hilarity ensues for dad. Child huffs again and the then slinks out of the room.

Other popular variations of this dad joke include “I’m Hungry”, “Hello Hungry, I’m Dad” or “I’m not ready to wake up yet”, “Hello Not Ready to Wake Up Yet, I’m Dad”. Basically, any time your children attempt to inform you of their current status, beginning with the word “I’m”, you can slip this dad joke in. One word of warning – do not attempt to do so if the preceding statement runs along the lines of “I’m still hugely upset about grandma’s death”.

The best way to deliver this gag is as deadpan as possible. Don’t try and ham it up, the more monotonous the response, the funnier the joke. For you. Always just for you.

2) “I Don’t Think it Will Fit Me”

Sadly one of the downsides of your children becoming more independent is that you no longer qualify for this excellent dad joke. Make the most of it whilst your kids are young.

Here’s how it works: the child asks for your help getting dressed, using the sentence “can you put my jumper on?” The answer to this is always, “I don’t think it will fit me.” It’s simple, but effective and can even be reversed like this: “Dad, can you take my shoes off please?” “I’m not wearing your shoes.”

One of the best bits of this dad joke is the glorious anticipation you feel when your offspring are getting dressed or undressed and you see them slightly struggling with something. You know you will get your next chance to drop the gag in soon and it couldn’t be any more exhilarating. Well, you have to make your own fun when you’re too old, tired and skint to go out.

3) The Humble Pun

If there is an expiry date on the “I Don’t Think it Will Fit Me” dad joke, the pun is the polar opposite. From before they can even understand the most obvious meaning of a word, let alone another secondary meaning, you can pun away.

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This is because, as stated at length, a dad joke is entirely for your own benefit.

There are no rules to punning, just do it. You might want to set yourself a challenge to make sure they all make complete sense, but that is categorically not important or necessary. Here are some puns that you might be able to squeeze into everyday parenting scenarios:

• “That Italian food we saved in the fridge from the other night is pasta its best”.
• “Don’t feed PlayDoh to the dog, he’ll feel ruff in the morning”.
• “I don’t mind changing the baby, but I’m not nappy about it”.
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And so on.

4) Physical Humour

I’ve lumped all the physical elements of dad jokes into one handy section, because it is really a side platter to the main course. When you think dad joke, you really think of something verbal, but there are plenty of opportunities to clown around too.

My favourite physical dad joke is, back when my wife asked me to test the temperature of the milk in baby bottles, I would recoil and scream in faux agony as soon as the actually-quite-tepid droplets hit the inside of my wrist. Another good physical gag I have discovered involves helping my 2-year-old son put on his shoes by sitting him in my lap. I then lift up my own foot and attempt to put the shoe on that, rather than his feet. Always a winner.

Are There Any Other Types of Dad Joke?

Have you come across another type of dad joke? Let us know in the Comments section.