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How to stop arguing with your partner about spending

how to stop arguing with your partner

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By Jim

Jim Coulson is a Yorkshire content writer, video maker and radio presenter who blogs under the guise of Bewildered Dad.

Published on 13/09/2022

Have you ever had an argument with your other half about how you or they spend money? Whether one of you went and spent the Christmas money on a Harley Davidson or the other always buys brands instead of the supermarket’s own products, the way our other halves deal with money can cause issues. So, want to know how to stop arguing with your partner about spending?

This article explains about how to broach spending on unnecessary items when you can afford it, but also when you cannot. Keep reading to find more.

Advice on how to stop arguing with your partner about spending

If you are in a fairly stable financial situation, here’s how to stop arguing with your partner about purchases.

1. Work out your budget goals together

Often, you might look at your budget together and work out what you cannot afford to do because of your outgoings. This can cause resentment. Try looking at it the other way round. Think about how you can use your money to achieve your goals. If you are in a position to save money, consider how you will both benefit.

Whether that is to pay for next year’s holiday, the deposit for a house, to give yourself a certain level of pension in the future any other goal, see it as a positive. Don’t see this money outgoing each month as preventing you buying the new iPhone, think of it as helping you gain something that you both want.

Once you have factored in your joint goals and other outgoings, you can compare them with your incomings to see if there is anything left over. If you have anything ‘spare’, you can now split this if you want, as you have already committed to that joint goal.

2. Give each other some slack

If you have covered your joint goals and outgoings then give each other some slack over what they do with their half of any surplus. If you can afford to do it, spending money on yourself should be fun. Let each other use their half for whatever they want. This helps you get rid of that feeling that you can’t have something because your other half doesn’t want you to have it.

This is an example of how to stop arguing with your partner about purchases. If you have the freedom to buy whatever you want (within budget), neither can complain.

3. Don’t judge

A key element of this approach is that you cannot judge. You may think that spending £100 on a pair of shoes is ridiculous. However, as you have agreed that each other can spend their share as they like, you have to accept it. In the same way, your partner should accept whatever you want to spend your ‘fun money’ on.

4. Be honest with each other

There might be a temptation to hide purchases from your other half if you think that they might not approve. Alternatively, you might opt to underreport the price. But don’t.

For a start, they might find out and that could cause a major argument down the line. In addition, it just encourages bad financial habits. You never get used to having those difficult but necessary conversations about money. Talk to each other and let them know what you are spending on. When everything is out in the open, it leads to a much more healthy relationship.

 

how to stop arguing with your partner

 

What if you cannot afford your partner’s spending?

This is how to stop arguing with your partner about spending if it is causing a problem and you cannot afford it.

  • Approach them without accusing them. This will start an argument. Say that you think you should start paying more attention to finances together as a couple
  • Add your incomings and essential outgoings to show them exactly what is available to spend every month
  • If your outgoings are greater than your incomings, discuss together how to rein them in. It could be changing your supermarket, only heating the rooms you use or any other money-saving tips. This should be a joint task and commitment so you face your issues as a team
  • Catch up on finances regularly so that you can track your progress.
  • Get rid of credit cards if this is a problem. It is not free money and will only make your financial situation worse
  • Collect change in a pot and take it to the bank to change it every so often.
  • If you are still struggling to make ends meet or are in debt, talk to a charity like StepChange who will be able to help you.

 

Do you have any other tips to stop money arguments? Leave them in the Comments below

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