My daughter was stillborn. At 29 weeks she stopped breathing. She was born with her surviving twin sister and right at that very moment my heart broke in two and our lives as a family changed forever. I thought I would want to hide away from the world and grieve but I didn’t. I wanted to talk about her just like I talk about my other two kids. I wanted her to be part of our conversations and always be remembered as part of our family.
My 6-year-old son manages this perfectly. He often brings her up; he asks if I think she would have liked cheese like the rest of us do or if she would have been the quiet twin because her sister is so loud! He is
I have heard about a lot of experiences that parents who have lost a baby have been through when it comes to telling others about their loss and experienced some of my own too.
When do we lose the childlike way of being able to talk about anything? When do we become so worried about saying the wrong thing that we say nothing at all? I think that is the worst reaction of all, saying nothing. Parents have been avoided because friends haven’t known what to say to them after the loss of their baby. They have been told to move on, to count their blessings and that maybe it was for the best.
These are the worst type of reactions. When something like this happens we need people around us. We need the people who will say ‘I’m sorry I really don’t know what to say but I am here for whatever you need’. That’s all it takes, we just have to be there.
Let’s all try and be a bit more of a 6-year-old when a parent delivers this heartbreaking news and be open to talking about it. Say the little
These babies deserve to be remembered and their parents deserve to talk about them.