Powerless Dads

Is it just me, or do all dads find it hard watching their partners suffer: being sick, having a constant headache, back ache and uncomfortable sleeps? Let a lone the fact that this is only the 2nd trimester. I wish, just for one day, that I could take that load off her and give her a break. It seems very selfish of me! 

And we’re so powerless. What can we do? What does she want? Confused!?!?!? I can get her drinks, offer more cushions, do more errands, but it doesn’t seem enough. How do we deal with this? Maybe there’s no answer, just one of lifes mysterious, frustrating ways.

My answer is this: support, encourage, offer, listen and love. I know all those things take different forms, but if what you’re doing falls into one of those categories, I think you’re doing well. I certainly try to make sure I’m in them – and hate it when my flaws prevail.

Here’s my list of small things that go a long way to helping: 

#1 Take her on a date at every possible opportunity.
#2 Romance her once in a while – she probably feels rough as anything, show her otherwise!
#3 Enthuse!
#4 Help her relax – candle, bath, gossip magazine, food rub, music.
#5 Clean up the house – at the very least after yourself!
#6 Make sure she has the chance to buy some maternity clothes.

If anyone has any other thoughts/answers, I would love to hear them, as I’m sure most other expectant dads would to. 

About Al Ferguson

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Al Ferguson is the CEO and founder of The Dadsnet.
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  • Great advice! I seem to remember spending a lot of my time driving to & from shops to meet those weird cravings, & the hospital for all those many appointments! Good luck!

  • Thanks for your comment. Just off to the shops… again!

  • YorkieLivingInNewcastle 13th April 2016 Reply


    Commenting 2 years later :-s

    My Wife is 10 weeks pregnant and she doesn’t have morning sickness or any cravings. The only pregnancy related symptom that I can think off is that she has got bigger boobs, slightly bigger stomach and she is tired more often. Apparently the Mother-In-Law was exactly the same when pregnant with my Wife and her sister.

    Whilst this may sound great on paper (and I guess it is if you’re pregnant), I am constantly worried. I fear that perhaps she hasn’t had any proper pregnancy related symptoms due to miscarrying or maybe she is having a chemical pregnancy…

    All of these worries are nonsense as the midwife says everything is going okay and my Mother-In-Law reinforces that she was exactly the same.

    I don’t want to wish morning sickness upon my Wife but I would like have more signs that she is pregnant (Even though I know she is).

    I guess if she was like most pregnant women then I would be like Al and other new dad’s to be worrying and feeling guilty about their partners health.

    I am writing here to basically ask if any other Dad’s to be or Dad’s have had a pregnancy where their partners haven’t had the traditional morning sickness or cravings. Did these lack of symptoms make you worry? Am I just stressing over nothing?

    Perhaps when we have our first pregnancy scan my fears will be put to bed. Sadly this is in 3 weeks time when the Wife will be 13 weeks pregnant.

    Any advice would be greatly appreciated.


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