Just because you have a new baby doesn’t mean that your sex life should be boring!
Your partner just had the six-week check-up and she has been given the go-ahead for your sex life to get back on track! While this day may be exciting, trying to regain your old sex life may seem like a struggle as a new parent. Finding the time or energy to have sex when you have a young baby may feel like mission impossible! But don’t worry, you are certainly not the first parents who seem to have a nonexistent sex life.
Here are six tips on how to get your sex life back to how it was before you had children!
1. Take sex out of the bedroom
Before you had your baby you might have gotten into the routine of only having sex on your bed, but now that there is a third person in your bedroom, looking elsewhere may be the best option. Look around your home for other locations and make a checklist. Shower, tick, sofa, tick, office? tick. You can maintain a healthy romantic life, while not waking your sleeping baby. What’s not to love?
2. Talk to each other
After having children it can be easy to fall into the habit of talking about day-to-day life or just putting on a movie and not talking at all. Make sure you break this cycle by talking about the things you did before you became parents, such as books, your hopes, and dreams, or even politics. Pour yourself a glass of wine, dim the lights and get chatting, often it will help you to reconnect as adults which will lead to having sex like you used to.
3. Get out of the house to reignite the spark
As a new parent, it can be hard to leave the house as there’s so much going on. It can be really fun to introduce a ‘date night’ where you go out and act like you just met. Escaping the house and banning any baby talk can really help to get your sex life back on track. Just taking the time to enjoy each other’s company can often lead to you both being more affectionate and ending up in bed when you get back.
4. Redefine sex
If vaginal sex is your goal, then you may be left disappointed in the weeks and months after the birth of a baby. A great way to help with this is to expand your idea of what sex is, and then it becomes easier to incorporate it into your day-to-day life, especially as some of the alternatives can be a lot quicker!
This could be anything from reading erotic novels, taking showers or baths together, to naked touching such as tickling and kissing with no specific end goal. Just being intimate with each other through other means will help to remind you that you are not just parents but partners too.
5. Take advantage of naptime
During the week naptime is often used to catch up on housework or snatches of sleep, but at the weekends use the time to get close and personal with your partner. Quite often you will feel too tired to get intimate in the evening, but a mid-afternoon quickie on a lazy Sunday is the best.
6. Seduce each other
During the first few months after having your child, while you may be keen to make sure your sex life can return to what it was pre-baby, you can often be really exhausted. Take the time to romance each other throughout the day. This could be sending risque text messages talking about what you want to do with them, or leaving love notes around the house. Remind each other of why you fell in love and why you enjoy sleeping with each other.