Most of us dads know how amazing it is to be a dad. There are so many golden moments and I’m pretty sure everyone has their favourites – their kid saying “daddy” for the first time, or kicking a ball back to them. These are moments to be celebrated – sure, and you can write about them on social media or tell friends and family – go for it!
But there are other victories too, ones that maybe you can’t celebrate in the office, or shout about with your mates at the pub.
These are the victories that you shouldn’t *really* be proud of, but you are. Everyone has them, and here are my top 4:
1. Catching poo
If you haven’t experienced this then it’s only a matter of time before you do! I have no idea how babies seem to fire out poo like it’s an actual projectile but they do – I had it happen half way through a nappy change once but I caught it in the nappy which was held in my hand like a baseball glove. For a few seconds afterwards I honestly thought I’d missed my calling as a pro baseball player.
2. Farting in the bath
This was a recent one for me – I heard the “bloop-gloop” of the bubbles bursting and turned just in time to see my kid draw a massive breath and belly laugh at what had just happened. So much joy it was impossible not to laugh along. I don’t think that one ever gets old.
3. Picking bogies
Listen – I don’t care who you are or what place in society you think you have. Hooking a massive bogie and pulling it out is WAY up there in terms of satisfying life-events. Witnessing your kid realise this should solicit a respectful nod from you and maybe a quick “welcome to the club” too.
4. Big burps
Not quite sure where this is learned, probably a mixture of children’s shows, classmates and the general euphoria of belching out a deep resonating burp. It’s not so much the burp that’s celebrated (though the noise:size ratio is more impressive with kids than it is a Bose speaker!), but more the instinctual high five!
Please tell me the weird stuff you’ve secretly celebrated!