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I am a stay at home Dad of 2 (18months boy & 3yrs girl). The ones that get me are when your out & someone says “is it Mums day off” which is insulting on 2 levels, or “Mum must have dressed you/done your hair”. But my personal fave, because I was a graphic designer I get asked a lot, “why I don’t try working from home”. Like I have the time to fit that in.
I am the main carer of a 2 yo girl and now a 10 wo boy, my wife works mon – fri and i work weekends. The two comments that always boil my blood is ‘are you babysitting today? No im the dad!’ Or like the odd time i have forgot to do something like slice grapes for snack and i hear ‘don’t worry you will soon get used to it.’ I am used to it i just forgot to slice grapes i still have them packed in a tub not a big deal!
Work stuff that brothers me is asking me to work other shifts extra because I am off, time and time again i have to explain im not off. Where mums in my work never get the same sort of hassile to justify their shifts.
Sorry turned into a bit of a rant but kind of a sore point as i feel still in this day its not overly accepted that a dad can be stay at home/main carer.
My least favourite thing said to me while I cared for our children was “ oh, is it your day to have them?”
Like a father without his wife present, obviously means they are separated.
Being relatively new to being a stay at home dad with my 9 month old girl it has been difficult hearing some of the naive and oftentimes invasive questions about our decision (personal finances, etc) from not only strangers but also close friends and family. It seems to blow their minds that I don’t have a “real” job, and how we can make things work financially. Even when people don’t say anything at all it just takes a look from them when they hear I am a stay at home dad to know exactly what they are thinking in their heads.
It’s all about priorities and to choose family over money is a sacrifice. A stay at home dad ought to be commended for that in my book. With that being said, the best part about being a stay at home dad is that I don’t need that recognition from society to feel good about my role just those moments I get with my wonderful daughter that no one will ever be able to take away.
Have to say reading this there so much truth in this ive had a lot ot deal with over the last few months my parnter and i cant be together as she has a history of neglect on children which i was unaware of so has litterally left me home holding the baby shes 5 months now and ive been doing it solo since she came home with me at 3 days old i do everything and more for my lil one shes my 3rd child so unlike some ive got that extra know how which is a bonus but no child is the same ive had people come upto me in the street and say the same sort of things like ohh is your daddy giving mummy a rest ……..i say no actually shes not in her life ive done it all since she was 3 days old solo they then scoot off with there tail between there legs its pathetic to think we live in a world where simple things are misjudged i for one feel for all parents because we dont do this because its easy we do this because its hard and to have the affection from a daughter or son makes this world a lil better for everyone
So much admiration to everyone whos a stay at home parent. I only do once a week and it is hectic. Awesome and fun and sooo valued. But from before breakfast to after bedtime it’s one of the busiest days of my week! Credit to you all ????
The answers in article all seem very defensive and a indirect bashing of the non parents.
Having a child is a choice, your choice. You can’t automatically assign blame to people who choose not to have kids or can’t have kids.
Not all of us are stupid enough to ask these insensitive questions either.
Coming from nearly seven years experience as a full time stay-at-home parent, one thing I would say is that, like most things in life, parenting is as hard or as easy as you make it. I have five children ranging from a ten year old down to 15 month twins, and while my days are pretty full on, I would never say it is hard. I enjoy it too much to call it hard. We have our routines and our patterns and we get on with it… Breakfast, dressing, school run(s), toddler groups, lunch, chores or fun in the park, school run(s), dinner, bath, bed, rinse and repeat.
I am a stay at home (working at home) parent to a 5 yo, 3 yo and 10 mos! What i found most overwhelming and still learning to handle ….is the relatives and close family that assume that I must be enjoying myself so much and send my poor husband to work all hours! But it all comes down to no judgement rule thay most people find so difficult to follow! Mind your own business you can’t even begin to imagine how important it is for the family to have one of the two staying at home!