My wife asked the other day, “Darling, why do you spend so long in the bathroom?”
To which I replied, “It’s just always been that way, I take a long time to do my business.”
The truth is when we fell pregnant again, I had a long chat with an old friend from Ireland who had just beaten me to have the second child.
When asked about the difference between having one child and two, his response was short and rather unexpected.
He said, “Well, you just spend a lot longer in the toilet.”
I thought little of it for the next 9 months but soon after the birth of my second boy I started to notice a pattern emerge.
Firstly, I’d subconsciously moved the WiFi router nearer to the bathroom so it had the strongest reception in the house, secondly I’d adjusted the radiator valve on the towel rail to maximum.
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I’d placed some reading material in reaching distance and everything was regularly kept clean.
It began to dawn on me that I had created a safe place.
A Dad sanctuary where I could legitimately spend ten minutes to an hour (OK, not quite a full hour!) on my own in silence.
However, this little sanctuary was rumbled very early on by my wife. But without any stone-wall evidence, she could prove nothing.
I suppose the question now is how far can you go.
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How far could I actually push this? Could I fit a TV?
Maybe a fridge for light refreshments; I guess that has hygiene implications but we can work around this.
Really, the possibilities are endless.
It just comes down to how brave a man can really be.
Every man needs sanctuary, but every Dad needs a hideaway.
Toilets have so much potential. Make it happen men.
Now I know what my husband does in the bathroom for so long!