The Commonwealth Games opened in style in Birmingham this week. Over the next ten days, some of the finest sportspeople from across 72 nations and territories will compete in a range of events. But what if there was a Commonwealth Games for dads? What activities would we compete in?
Here are some suggestions:
Commonwealth Games for dads – the events
Nappy change time-trial
Ten dads line up to change randomly assigned babies’ nappies in the quickest time possible. Whereas many sports pride themselves on creating a level playing field, this event is a step into the unknown. You don’t know until you get your baby whether you’re going to have to deal with a simple wee or a poonami of epic proportions. Competitors have to be on their toes at all times. Quickest change wins.
School run dash
Contestants start this race at the breakfast table of a house at 8:00am. It is then their job to get two children fed, dressed and to the school gates for as soon after 8:45am as possible. The least late dad wins. Anyone completing the event before 8:45am is instantly disqualified as they are clearly cheating somehow.
Bond film sleep race
All competitors for the Bond film sleep race at the Commonwealth Games for dads have access to a gigantic Sunday lunch in preparation for the event. After downing their own bodyweight in roast beef and Yorkshire puddings, they enter the arena and take to their personal armchairs. The starter’s pistol goes off and the big screen starts showing Moonraker, with the gold medal going to the dad who falls asleep first.
DIY job list chase
At the opening ceremony of the Commonwealth Games for dads, organisers hand the competitors for the DIY job list chase a selection of home improvement tasks they need to complete before the closing ceremony. The twist is that they keep adding to the list during the following ten days. The first to tick off all the items on the list is the winner. No one has ever completed their list.
Do you have any more events for the Commonwealth Games for dads to add to the list? Stick them in the Comments below