The Dad Network was given the opportunity to ask a child psychologist and neuroscientist, (courtesy of Fairy Non-Bio, #neverstophugging) any question we liked. By ‘The Dad Network’ I’m referring to the group of 1200 dads that belong in The Dad Network Facebook group. We put this opportunity to them and this is what they came up with.
- What would they say is the most common mistake dads make in regards to development and bonding?
In my opinion, most dads probably presume that social bonding occurs between the mother and child, rather than the father and child as well. It is important to strike up a close bond with your child in the early stages as a dad, in addition to the mother, as the relationship they develop later needs firm foundations.
- What is the best way of dealing with older stepchildren who feel you are treating younger children of your own more favourably?
Talk to them about it! Find out from them what it is that they think is being unfair or is unequal and try to get some common ground. Recognise that there is, of course, a difference, but face it so that it is out there in the open.
- What should we be starting (or avoiding) from birth to help prevent or diminish the likelihood of ADHD?
There may be no good rule for avoiding this but starting by taking an interest in your child, setting firm boundaries about acceptable behaviour, and being consistent in your behaviour with them, are probably the most important rules.
- If significant change i.e separation, moving house or death of a loved, create bonding difficulties when children are young (under 3) is there a way it can be rectified to create a more stable environment, without causing long term relationship problems?
Try and maintain consistency in and stability in your, as well as the child’s, lifestyle as quickly as you can after bereavement or moving house, etc. Children, especially, young children like familiarity and need security to become reassured and to feel supported emotionally.
- Is there any harm in a five and six year old witnessing their parents drinking a glass of wine in the evenings?
No, so long as they are responsible in their behaviour and so long as the children do not participate and understand that it is something that adults can do. Letting the child see you are drunk and incapable is, obviously, not recommended ever.
If you had the opportunity to ask a question what would it be?